I am dying to go back and edit " the stars had aligned and I was ready to meet my fate" to " the stars had aligned and I was ready to meet my cake. I mean fate. Ready to meet my fate."

If I were my friends, I would have been so pissed too. I was horrible.

I'm happy the second story worked out for you in the long run. It's nice to meet those people who stay in your life when your first meetings don't go so well. So, you went to your company's Christmas part for your first date? Damn. Impressive.

Aw, you poor thing! But also, 'I'm going to cut off your legs and everyone will call you stumpy?' Hilarious. I am very impressed that you came up with something like that on the fly. I would just probably have let out a scream of inarticulate rage. ;)

I uh, have a bit of an issue with anxiety, for which I am now medicated. I am, apparently, still a bit high-strung, as one might say. I have had a vast and possibly embarrassing number of meltdowns, although I tend to keep them no more public than around my husband (poor man). Highlights include a winter evening in my…

I hit my next door neighbor in the neck with a snow shovel when I was 12. He was the neighborhood bully, and he'd been throwing shit at our house all day, and just shouted "I WANT TO FUCK YOUR SISTER" after she had gone upstairs to change. I don't actually remember hitting him, just holding the shovel in my hands…

My high school had a rule: for junior and senior prom, you had to have a date. And because it was a Catholic school, it had to be boy-girl. I had a crush on this junior when I was a senior, and asked him to go to the prom with me. He was completely enthusiastic about it and I was ecstatic. All he had to do was get a…

Someone telling me to "calm down" when I'm upset is a one-way ticket to me saying "I will stab you in the motherfucking eye with a goddamn ice pick! How's that for calm?!"

I went to a reunion where it was 3 days of non-stop socializing. I was even sharing a room with a friend. I'm normally a huge introvert, and I need my quiet time. A friend and I had made plans on the last night, but she neglected to tell me it wasn't just her and me - it was her and me and 11 other people. In her…

NO. No judging. The beauty of this game is that we all accept that humans have moments of weakness and THAT WE ARE ALL IN THIS TOGETHER and you are RUINING IT.

I don't really have a lot of meltdowns, but one good one was when I really, really wanted to watch Ferris Bueller's Day Off. This was in like, 2009. I really wanted to show my boyfriend the movie because I love it and we lived in Chicago and I just love shit about Chicago. Well, my VHS player (yeah) wasn't working. I…

There is nothing to make a teenage girl lose her FUCKING MIND like being told she can't see/talk to her boyfriend. I once called my sweet mother a bitch, out loud, to her face, because she wouldn't let my boyfriend come over. I was like... 15 or 16. And the dude was a piece of shit loser but of course I couldn't see…

This was completely over the top, and I should be embarrassed, but if I'm being honest? This is one of my favorite stories about myself.

When I studied abroad, I was placed in a campus apartment with a guy who was really hard to get along with; he conversed by going on the attack and insulting other people, their families, their countries, their habits - anything guaranteed to get a reaction. One day, I had just come home from the gym. I was cold,…

The time when Depo was the hot new thing on the market, and my gyno forgot to tell me that it isn't recommended for people who have depression before she stuck my ass with 1 years worth of estrogen (back in the day it was an annual affair).

I have two, and I can't decide which is worse.

I don't know if this counts as a meltdown, but it involved crying. I was traveling through spain and to save money I stayed a couple of nights in a hostel, and I was in a dormitory with 6 other women.

I had a full blown fit over frozen yogurt recently.

When I was younger and a single overworked mother of an overactive 2 year old I had a mortifying public meltdown. My daughter was usually very well behaved but this day she decided to test her new found sense of independence in Macys. She was doing the typical bratty two year old stuff...throwing things...hiding in…

A few years back, 4am at the trashiest gay club in Chicago. Like they pump in copious amounts of what we called "shame mist" so your bad decisions were harder to see, and there were no doors on the bathrooms. I am drunk as a skunk. Somebody asks my guy friend if I'm some straight girl he brought with him. I yell, "I'm…