Would you say he looked "udderly defeated"?

I used to work the Union Square Farmers Market, and that meant showing up at 6 Am or earlier at the park.

Like, 13 years ago, I got arrested for "borrowing" an RV that was for sale in my neighbors yard. He had left the keys in the ignition. My pal and I (totally sober btw) decided to take it for a spin around the block. When we got back the cops were waiting for us. My neighbor didn't press charges. He actually kinda…

When I was in college, my roommate and I went to some Halloween party with a girl from our dorm. The next morning, she comes walking up to the common area still in her eighties-prom outfit. We asked her where she ended up staying the night...she lifts up her dress to reveal her yellow thighs and says "Bart Simpson…

I didn't see it, but the hooligan with my stolen candy bowl is the worst, so wherever he/she was walking with said bowl. You are the worst, hooligan!

When I went to get coffee the morning after Halloween this year, the barista asked me if I was still dressed up. I was not. He said I looked like I was Nancy Drew. Not sure whether to be flattered or insulted.

I don't get treating those in the service industry like shit.

How is 12.95 expensive for a steak sandwich anyway? Seems like a pretty good deal to me.

I don't understand people who complain to the server about the prices. I tell tables "I didn't make the prices. Feel free to go to our website and complain. Would you like water with extra lemons and sugar?"

That's when a guy walks up with the missing forty dollars and tells the woman it was on the floor by their table. To which she says "bullshit" and storms out saying that I'm a fucking thief. Moral of the story is, don't give small children lots of cash.

I imagine that guy probably paid out of his own pocket to make the…

She was treated as newsworthy because she's a relatively young woman who bravely came forward and presented her very personal story in an emotional and articulate matter. It's not as though there are hundreds of people committing medically assisted suicide clamoring to tell their stories, only to be ignored by the…

One of my friends is making me just completely bonkers right now. He is not feeling well but instead of actually getting checked out he wants to whine about it. I finally said unless I was given some nifty initials at the end of my name don't tell me about these things unless you are following up with what a doctor…

I don't know if it's because I haven't had sex in forever, but "crazy-eyed sexy lumberjack"=new change of underwear.

From what I've read on here, guys like that love the 40s/50s and earlier eras because it was a time when women could be treated like objects with no repercussions, and were encouraged/expected/raised to basically just do whatever men said.

There's this guy in my boyfriend's MTG group that used to always wear fedora. He moved away for a few months and when he came back the fedora was gone and he had a girlfriend. I'm 1000% those two things are related.

I mean, I wouldn't know anything about staying home listening to The Smiths because some dude didn't like me back and/or sleeping with his less attractive friend in a stupid attempt to get him to notice me. No, not at all...

Those kinds of 'Nice Guys' are dbags. What also gets me, is that if girls have unrequited love, they are ridiculed. Example - "He's just not that into you." Guess what? SHE'S JUST NOT THAT INTO YOU. Move on and find someone who is actually attracted and interested in you.

I'd like you a lot better if you just gave me the $5k.

This friend zone, MRA horseshit gives me a headache. Someone doesn't like you back? Who gives a shit? Go eat some Ben & Jerry's and watch some Sense and Sensibility and get over it; I know zero women, including myself, who disparaged some dude because he didn't like us back. Men are such entitled shits...I can't…