Champagne with a capital C, please.

I would like my BEST OF KRISTEN WIIG DVD now, SNL.

Is the Arnold Schwarzenegger look making a come back?

"Siri, how expensive would it be to replace all the lights in my house with fireflies?" @ZooeySiri [twitter.com]#!/ZooeySiri

What is wrong with her face?

Its about time Alec Baldwin and Juliette Lewis made a movie together.

I only got one dose of Gardisil. It was just too expensive and in my early 20s I couldn't afford 3 rounds at $160 each, or whatever it was, and my insurance at the time only covered the shots for girls age 13-17 or something. Planned Parenthood even tried to help me out by sending my check stubs to the drug company,…

Seriously. I imagine she posted that thinking "wow, maybe I'll be a featured 'celebrity' in a rundown of A-listers mourning his death. Because I am a celebrity!" Thanks to Jez, she is! Gross.

what exactly is a salvage store? Like a dollar store?

seriously. You know how much MONEY she could have made?

well what I mean by that, without being articulate, was WHY THE IMPATIENCE OF TABLOIDS?

she announced in October but didn't give birth til May 1? That was only 7 months ago. Aren't pregnancies 9 months?

I'm pretty sure Louis is sweating.

my fat ass would never be able to rock a bikini that sexily. Damn. She looks good.

I can see their internal organs.

Is this SPAM? Are you a bot?

What about the rest of us who, without any parents help, scrounge around underemployed, pay for gas in quarters and laundry money, still pay $105 phone bills when there are $400 of student loans to pay for each month? on top of rent? And drinking? Without having a well paying job with stable money?

WTF. Is this from the Kardashian Kollection? Woof.

I mean, she's perfect as better. Frigid, painfully stiff, and unable to show any emotion on her face? I dont think that is acting.

we sommeliers think this is amusing and hillarious and effective, but we would never condone it.