Opinion: everyone should have to survive off of service industry jobs and wages for a year. It would make society a nicer place.

November 2016 was a disappointing month for many reasons. Chief among them was the electoral college decision in favor of TrumPutin.

The communication between all these fuckwits illustrates two things:

Are tiger-selfies really a Tindr thing?? How bizarre. On OKCupid, we pose exclusively with dolphins.

Jordan would have let it slide to make sure the team covered.

It taught me a lesson in pacifism. Don’t hit me—I’ll hit me.

Hey Arnold is the GOAT Nicktoon after Doug was ruined by Disney. The only potential saving grace of this reboot movie is if they can resolve the answer of what happened to Arnold’s parents without fucking that up. Given that all of the voices will obviously be different, I doubt it. The only thing giving me hope is…

My soul is fucked anyways, so I’ll say it: He needs to succumb to his brain cancer already instead of wasting my tax dollars fighting a losing battle then taking health care away from others

When he’s impeached and resigns I’ll stop. Fair?

It’s obvious Cleveland has no clue what it’s doing. You could’ve got a whole season out of him on a 10-day contract.

He’s not the player the Cavs’ want...but he may be the one they knee’d.

I have no kind words for John McCain. I do not wish him a speedy recovery, I do not wish him extended lifetime. The spineless, self described “maverick” rolled over for a fucking moron who consistently insulted him and his service (and by proxy the rest of the servicemen and women).

If John McCain has brain cancer, then what will the rest of the GOP be diagnosed with?

mom pls dont do this

Is it wrong that I irrationally root for a 19 year old to fail because his Dad is an all-time terrible sports dad? Yeah, probably. Is this gonna stop me? No, probably not.

Add this to the “Christi is a huge asshole” file: we NJ state employees just learned that he sent a letter requesting that our July 4th federal holiday pay be revoked, since we were in the shutdown for that time. So we were stiffed for Monday’s pay, and Tuesday’s pay, while his bloated ass lay on the beach.

I don’t suppose it matters on the birth certificate, but it does seem a little foolish to just pretend sex has no relationship to health. You don’t need to force anything on a child, but that is medically necessary information regardless of what gender, if any, the child identifies with.

LeBron’s value is probably equal to the value of one whole NBA franchise.

If he’s underpaid, Lebron is an indentured servant.