I never thought I would say this, but this is where we are in 2018.

No one - NO FUCKING ONE - should be able to use the word “satire” without taking a survey course in Voltaire, Swift and West. We done killed that word, and I hate it.

Yep, I get the whole punching up, punching down thing, but, and there always is one isn’t there, a line does have to be drawn. I mean, heck, white people are soon going to be a minority in the US anyway so how about we stamp down on racism now instead of waiting a couple of years.
Let’s be fair here, you can call it…

Hahahaha....yeah....right

I am fucking shocked that post doesn’t have Ashley Feinberg’s byline.

If he doesn’t cremate Gawker’s corpse, but instead tries to revive it, it’s a sure thing that the result will be substantially dumber than the original thing.

My good friend is a vet and has never uttered a racist word, but he thought it was disrespectful. I disagree, and think it represents what he fought for. But don’t be an ass and paint people with broad brushes. You know who does that? The exact redneck confederate flag flying people you hate. 

Intercepting shipments is theft not capitalism. If you legally obtained the products and had permission to use the parking lot that’s ok. You’d have a ton of other problems but you could do it in theory.

I hope McDonald’s is next. I can’t tell if flipping D-grade beef patties on a filthy griddle for $9/hr. is a shitty job no one but teenagers should be making a career of!

Do you actually love Deadspin as it exists at this very moment? I’m a longtime reader and love what it used to be, but I rarely enjoy the content anymore.

Hey, I’m 32! I think Wagners writing sucks and is a sad attempt at page views by doxxing her competition. So I guess what Im saying is don’t leave out the 28+ crowd of oppressed white males.

I dunno, it feels more to me like “we discovered we couldn’t afford to hire this guy away, so we asked one of our writers to check if he had a criminal history we could write about.”

Yup. While we might never know if Joe Flacco is elite, Laura Wagner certainly is not.

Good because soccer isn’t boring enough, I’m going to watch a documentary about Soccer so I can just slip into a nice, relaxing coma.

That really just makes them sound like most Soccer fans.

If you have hatred for a race, why would you date that race? I’m sure a billionaire dated a woman of a race he hates because he liked torturing himself for 2 years. Yea your right that makes sense. Actions speak louder than words.

I agree that it is intended as a genteel stand-in for motherfuckin’, and that there would have been no controversy had he, say, vociferously disagreed with a ref by saying “just one cotton-pickin’ minute,” a la Yosemite Sam.

He really crackered under the pressure.

Don’t let the facts get in the way of your story there, Timmy. The fact this “story” is still up is proof positive what an absolute fucking hack you are. I can guess you probably acted as Denton’s personal fuckboy to land this gig initially but how in the fuck does Univision justify keeping you around?

If it’s not a banana then why is this story still up you fucking hack? “Bottle thrown on field” isn’t exactly news. In the future maybe consider changing “Timothy Burke is Deadspin’s Video Director” in your about the author section to “Timothy Burke is a virtue signaling fucking imbecile”