“It’s not something we wanted to have happen. It didn’t have to go this route,” says spokesperson for sheriff’s office that has chosen to make this happen by going this route.

SHIT TONS OF SALT YO. 

How do you think I practiced for this...

Yeah I was in a similar situation once... in Mario Kart 8. I got the ink-splat on Rainbow Road. Consequences maybe not quite as high, but it was a real nail-biter for me.

Why are you on Jalopnik?

Never had the battery go dead on my air tools.....

Well, yeah, but air tools can be had cheap; it’s fun to scavenge them from yard-estate-Craigslist sales;  and no batteries to worry about it.  Yup, they’re loud, but if you want to dip your toes in the water without laying out serious money, it’s a very good way to go.

I had no clue this was even a thing, but I like it. Even moreso knowing how many neckbeards are actually getting upset over it. 

The first time I saw these was on the medium green paint color challenger (no idea what it’s called)....I was immediately hooked. It looked great. Like really great.

I wish my life was so awesome that the biggest problem I had was whether or not other people were removing yellow plastic protective bits from their cars.

“Side note: Yes, people are constantly messing with the brakes of these scooters. I regularly find cut cables, and on a few occasions, have started riding only to find out while in motion that the cables have been cut or removed entirely.”

I’m no fan of these scooter services nor many of the operators who are…

We could just play “I Spy with my Little Eye” instead of NPOCP...

JEEBUS! Can this idiot seller possibly have more CRAP in his photos, around the car and in the background? I couldn’t even finish reading your (I ass-sume) excellent write-up as it was obvious I would never buy anything this person was selling. Gives “shady” a bad name just looking at this . . .

Found the guy fucking with Korey’s car.

If only there were words after the title that might go into some detail about the question being posed:

THIS.

Fair warning: If I see you measuring your parking job with your phone, I’m giving you a wedgie. This is non-negotiable.

Didn't work. Still remember the last 20 years of Will Smith's career.

My vote? Time-traveling tourists. Sightings are increasing because we’re getting closer to WWIII, a popular destination in time for history buffs.

I disagree only because Car Bros could get away with it because it’s a parody.  I’m not a lawyer but I feel like the design is still their property.