Or ... I don’t know ... your parents could teach you these things so you can be a functional human?

Just looking at this has raised my cholesterol levels to new heights.

Yeah man I know these are a thing. They need to make it to automobiles.

Exactly.

Fuck this guy with a chicken sandwich.

We need a manual CVT with a big ol’ handle you yank to raise and lower the ratio at will.

Nah, kids gotta wind down somehow.

This needs a stock hood, some black spark plug wires, interior detail and a generous price reduction.

I wish I had played less Everquest.

And neither of them do anything.

I love how the Hyundai dealer has a Chevy in their logo.

Installing and servicing melodies since 1982.

Easily their best track and their best video.

I always thought the well done orders were the easiest. Slap it on the grill and just forget about it for awhile. If you’re not grill then you know you can bump that order back and bust out some other stuff.

Don’t worry Coca Cola already got paid.

Spiral bound books are fine as long you use the notebook backwards. It only sucks if you need to give it to someone to put in a 3 ring binder. 

Finally I can stop holding my steak with both hands and just taking bites off it!

Real recognizes real.

Stout or GTFO!

... via the homemade row boat that all Maine residents are legally required to own. (It’s mandated under the L.L. Bean Act of 1927.)