Yeah, you’re absolutely right. The girl would have been told not to wear such tight clothes and the boy would have been given in school detention or something.

I have no idea what this is about, but I’m voting (much like real life!)

No way. No contact with the outside world. HERMITS UNITE, AND TAKE THIS THING HOME. (and then never leave home again)

I’m officially now just voting to get a barometer of where I align with other Jezzies, because otherwise I have no strong opinions on any of these.

if only this could happen irl

ew at top chef making it this far

How is ‘Shopping at Sephora After Work’ beating ‘Sleeping With Your Co-Workers’? Sephora will come and go, as all businesses do, but sleeping with your co-workers is forever.

Every time I vote I use different criteria. So if this turns out badly, it’s on me.

HERE FOR IT. Jez March Madness brought me here, lo these many years ago for the fabled Pie vs. Cake year. I was great with child (kid was due April 2, but took her sweet ass time and didn’t show up for another two weeks) and the combination of hormones and preggo munchies made me passionate about that one. TEAM CAKE…

Don’t fuck this up. I’m looking at you, people who think caffeine is better than weed.

may we never be as divided as the great netflix v. sex match-up of ‘15

AHHHH!!!! SO EXCITED!!!!

BUT HOW HUMAN BE MORE THAN ONE IDENTITY SAME TIME? HOW WOMAN HAVE THOUGHTS? WHY WOMAN SPEAK? HOW IS BABBY FORMED? HOW MY NAME ANCIENT EMPEROR? TRUMP2016!

This would be quite effective were it not for the fact that “women: you have to treat them like sh*t” is the subtext for the entire Republican party.

I won’t completely write off essential oils but let’s just say, there’s a reason we’ve compounded any actual active ingrediants into pill form. It’s like Etsy is handing out M.D.s now...

That is way more eloquent that I could possibly be. My only reaction was FUUUUUUUUCCCCKKKKKKK YOOUUUUUUUUUUU!

People, please start believing that health care IS the miracle God sent you.

#dadjoke