I laughed, but I should probably confirm the pronunciation just to make sure it isn’t actually pronounced Kun-Es, which would render this joke useless.

Maybe they were just scared of by all those puppets he has with him at all times?

It’s the team’s fault for scheduling mandatory workouts after the regular season is over. That’s when Mets players go golfing.

This is not as impressive as it sounds, as subscriber-desperate WaPo is constantly running near-free subscription deals. Get yourself on their radar by signing up for Sunday-only delivery or the like and you'll start getting bombarded by the offers. I had to threaten to cancel recently to get them to NOT start…

Maybe they can change their name to the “Washington Redseats.”

“This is a picture of my wife taking a load off.”

I’ve been a season ticket holder for all ten years of the team’s existence in Washington. Even as we sat though 100 loss seasons in 100 degree weather, nothing has been more demoralizing than this year. The expectations were so sky high, and then the team as a whole has underperformed dramatically. Maybe the players…

He got a religious exemption because he worships Chronos.

Why the comma?

I award you the island of Manhattan for this comment.

Pheidippides nutz.

The team is now claiming it was an indirect attempt to honor the Native American tradition of bartering.