Gabrielle, girl. Let's talk after you have your (future ex-)husband pull over on the side of a deserted highway because you sharted yourself on a road trip. If your man sticks with you after that, he's a keeper. Shitting with the bathroom door open is honeymoon behavior.

Yeah, the no-insulation thing was interesting. But also kind of great in a "kiwi fortitude" kinda way. Thank god my roommates turned me on to the existence of fleece-encased hot water bottles, saved my life.

I miss NZ soooooooooo much. I fantasize about moving back pretty much on a daily basis. Kiwis are the best, the sports outdoor sporting options are endless, the scenery is AMAZEBALLS, and I miss living in a small city that had both a giant brewery and a chocolate factory.

This is my favorite Mean Girls parody:

Timothy Simons a regular role on Veep as Jonah

Shameless is my program! Power watching it as I type this. Emmy Rossum, me-owwwwwww. OOooo

If you need to vanquish Roving Amorous Lesbian Cara Delevingne, you just point a pair of tweezers at her. It is like the vampire and crosses thing.

Aw man. That is probably what I should have done. I dunno, I had their weird stubbornness in me that was like, "NO, if you change your username, the trolls win!", but that is just silly and not totally rational. That sucks that people assume you're a dude now though. Internet weirdos and their embedded prejudices.

Otter GIFs, I say!

— No one knows how long red wine remains fresh, but past a few days things definitely fall into ‘Whatever it is you like’ territory. The site says you can freeze an opened bottle, corked, for 4-6 months and still defrost it later, but I think I’ve done something like this and the result tasted odd.

I'm always amazed at the staunch pro-lifers who don't give a second thought to buying Chinese-made goods at Walmart. Abortion is a regular part of birth control in China, according to some estimates the average woman has six to nine(!) in her lifetime, and there are many documented cases of factory workers having…

I feel compelled to post a picture of my non-Shiba rescue (who I later learned is a Kooikerhondje...THAT'S AN ACTUAL BREED!). I present to you, Roo McClanahan...

Why is he standing around in some public space when he should be writing!!!!

Here it is now where's my money

• Dodge & Burn, $10,000 for a decent photograph of anything

He was born into it, and apparently his family keeps a pretty tight handle on him. Not sure if this is still true, but while VM was filming he and his wife were living at his family's Scientology "compound," and a friend who worked on the show said that, while he and the other cast members all got along well, he…

You win today! Thank you for this. I'll miss this season because I don't have cable anymore. It is the only show I will truly miss.

She totally has a Boob Fjord too. So jealy. #boobfjord #thinspo

Just ask Anderson Silva about the whole the bone density thing.