“Chandler: Because we love kids. Love them to death. Well, not actually to death. That’s just a figure of speech. We love kids the appropriate amount... as allowed by law.”

i saw both bands in 2013 and it was the best/worst thing i’ve ever done

LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

That’s my favorite kind! I generally eat it while wearing my panda coat.

Yes, you should go fuck yourself.

I would not want to live a life without cheese, no matter how beautiful or rich I could be. Nothing would be worth the sacrifice. Nothing.

You’ve got a future in play-by-play announcership.

Dammit, Pinkham. I laugh with you when you use these pictures to toy with all the East-Coasties on their lunch breaks, drooling at the mere sight of amazing food. But it’s breakfast time in Seattle, with nary a Top Pot in sight, and you throw THIS at me? What did I ever do to you to deserve such torture?

corrects people who refer to him being responsible for his own children as “babysitting.”

Asks for FUCKING DIRECTIONS WHEN OBVIOUSLY LOST.

“I’ll reach up and grab your waste and pull you into my face.”

“I want to push your head down really hard while you give me head”

Also this episode had me cheering for both Betty Draper AND Pete Campbell, what is this show doing to me

When an author trolls his own blog, then I know I’m in the right place:)

I have to explain to her that it’s not alchemy or magic that transmutes peppercorns into pepper

I hated it when the doctor wouldn’t give Betty any of the news until her husband was there. And then in the second doctor’s appointment, they’re off standing to the side talking about her like a child. Infuriating.

Did anyone else notice that when Betty fell down, her hair defied gravity and stayed put?

Only minority sperm ever get busted for loitering.

you seem fun

“Clothing with names is the #1 thing that leads to kidnapping”