Are we sure he isn’t a Martian and the translator is a little off, like in Mars Attacks?

Good thing we have a never ending supply of fish.  Although a panda would probably give you more biogas per kilogram.

ICE IN A SINGLE MALT???

Well duh, tearing apart boardroom fatcats can hardly be called farming now, can it?

I’d have a hard time calling Hitler a coward, however. He did serve on the front lines and he did get into hand-to-hand street battles with the Communists in the tumultuous days following the collapse of the Weimar Republic.

For fuck’s sake, he almost dropped dead from fright when an eagle looked at him funny. If he heard a gun go off he would definitely keel over on the spot.

Not every sport needs to be basketball.

Good! I hope the little shit meets his untimely demise in jail. I’m not a fan of prison yard justice, seems hypocritical to wish for convicts to mete out punishment that our society is unwilling to, but I’ll make an exception in this case.

I really hope this kid takes over the Democratic party and eventually some much higher office.

Tim Krumrie, Super Bowl 23.  The guy broke his leg but it wasn’t apparent until they showed it in slo-mo, at which point the announcers literally shrieked when they saw how it happened.  Unforgettable.

He’s not smooth enough or religious enough. Keep an eye on Joel Osteen, though.

It is something I’d love to be wrong about.

Since neither of those things are ever going to happen, let’s call it a lose-lose.

White Man’s Burden, eh?  Onward Christian Soldiers?  They did it so it’s okay if we do it?  Explain your rationalization.

The blood that will never wash away is slavery, genocide, and conquest; those are a bit more sinister than self-interest, don’t you think?

I agree with Macron’s words, but they still ring hollow. Like the U.S., like Britain, like Germany and Belgium and Russia, the French have blood on their hands that will never wash away.  Any Western leader who talks about moral values is a hypocrite.

CCR, Green River: “Barefoot girls dancing in the moonlight”

Between the receipt coupons and the 10% off entire purchase coupon you get in the mail, it actually does save us a lot of money.

I can’t believe this is a big deal. It happens to me almost every time I buy something at CVS. BTW, the difference between a 3-item receipt and a 50-item receipt would be like 7 inches, so I don’t think it would have been worse based on the number of items alone.

Our streakers are so lame in comparison.