So you’re a one-person family. Families come in all shapes and sizes. It’s 2019! ::::reaches for 5lb bag of M & Ms that slid off my belly::::

I hate this because it is fucking exquisite, chef’s kiss, perfect fodder for permanent hard-ons like NFL coaches and sycophant writers who fawn over them. 

One can say that Richie (•_•) / ( •_•)>⌐■-■ / (⌐■_■), went private....

$1000 for chicken wings?! Oh, and it’ll be so hip to slum it with PBR.

The worst fries I’ve had at Chick-Fil-A were still “fine”. They were hot, potato-y, just the right amount of salt, yet they weren’t a home run. They were the outlier, otherwise those fries are potato-heaven with perfect balances. Obviously that’s not to everyone’s tastes, as every single comment in this article is…

They likely use some sort of news aggregator. I have flipboard or whatever on my phone and it feeds me some shit I wouldn’t expect, but it’s there nonetheless. These people just take it all so personally, then we get to be entertained on random Fridays throughout the year.

Yeah, they should have just said “I read Barstool and I hate you” and cut out all the BS.

Asshloe....every city.gives tax brakes.. to businesses every city like to have a team that’s the price of doing business...and Trump is president

I love the absolutely 100% for sure true letters from gay conservatives. “Yes, I am a gay conservative and received more bigotry from liberals than conservatives. One time at a liberal coffee shop the barista called me ‘homo’ and I said, ‘Sir, I am a proud American AND a conservative! White Jesus and our troops would…

Every single hot taek ever should end with:

If they are fresh, they aren’t bad. I ask for them unsalted and crisp and salt them myself before dipping in Polynesian Sauce.

I think people tend to enjoy atypical fries more.  I’ll always take a waffle fry or a curly fry over a standard shoestring.

Burger King - obvious reasons

Demi-Leigh Nel-Peters-Tebow sounds like the name of a law firm based in Narnia.

That message was brought to you by DeBeers, who sent a representative hidden in a hay bale to make sure it was delivered correctly.

As Nel-Peters said yes, Tebow slipped a 7.25-carat solitaire ring on her finger. “This ring is internally flawless,” he said. “Just like you.”

It’s a testament to the civility of Northwestern fans that she hasn’t been stuffed into a trashcan. 

How the fuck did Northwestern let this go on for 3 and a half years?  She shouldn’t have made it more than 3 and a half games before being told to stop because she was ruining the experience for so many others.

Every venue that has ever hosted a live sporting event is filled with drunken, profane, loudly belligerent men, but here we have a woman who’s distinguished herself cheering the actual game action singled out and silenced.

You’re right about him not being under contract, although he’s not currently a free agent. I’ve fixed that sentence, though. Thanks.