But he’s just trying to have fun

isn’t just part of some hippy bullshit scam

I love the use of “the hipsters.” Not just hipsters, but THE hipsters.

Anyone that says“an huge” without it being a typo deserves an extra kick to the balls.

My girlfriend doesn’t use cruise control on the highway even if there is lite traffic. She hits the gas paddle every 5 seconds causing my body to lurch forward. I’ve never gotten car sick but I will soon.

I don’t think the first emailer needs to feel badly about taking an exam for an athlete. I do however believe that they should be expelled immediately, as well as the student athlete. How they feel about it, I don’t give a shit.

I got my hair cut the other week and some Bill Lumbergh looking motherfucker was on his LAPTOP the entire time he got his haircut. He was seated next to me, hair cape on, laptop on his legs, just happy as could be. I glanced over to see how much hair was getting on his computer and I see he’s on Facebook. That was…

Are you new here? Jezebel dismisses any negative opinion towards someone they like as “sexism,” “racism,” or “homophobia.” They themselves reduce the individuals that they ostensibly like to nothing more than a set of genitals and pigmentation.

I think you’re overestimating how much weight a degree from Oregon has on Wall Street.

$70 million is spent annually to suppress “Bush did 9/11" memes.

I would be very curious what kind of salaries their board are getting.

If a flagrant 1 is penalty enough for a Bruce Lee to the dick I hope the Thunder employ the Hack-a-Curry’s-Dick for the rest of the series.

Draymond assaults Steve Adam’s nuts two games in a row and I just have this feeling the league is going to be like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Your friends are horrible people.

Why the fuck did they let you keep watching that horrible show long enough to care about the finale?

Is this really that shocking? “I was busy raising my kids” is obviously going to be a better answer then *shrug* “I took some time off.” One is a reasonable explanation, the other makes your prospective employer wonder if you spent 10 years living in a basement playing video games.

Never, ever wear a man-bun. You’ll get your ass kicked way more often if you do.

This post is about getting into a fight correct? Not so much being attacked like being mugged or robbed right? If you are in a fight where you and another person are arguing face to face and it comes to blows, DO NOT try to kill them. Unless prison sounds fun.

Step 1: Run! Run like a little bitch! A SAFE little bitch!

Just as you always assume a gun is loaded, assume your opponent is experienced. Anyone can get a lucky shot in. Training/knowledge only (significantly) increases your chances of victory over a less-experienced fighter.

Learn from the best