That’s the problem with a political side that has a conscience.

The Republicans don’t have any fucking principles. No guiding decency. Trump is the antithesis of almost every ideal they’ve claimed to believe in for at least fifty years, but they don’t care because it’s all power. Power is the only thing that matters.…

Part of the problem is the Democratic party, while having a wing that is truly focused on helping people, is more often focused on maintaining decorum and status quo calm. They’d like to help people, as long as it doesn’t rock the boat. Obviously that’s better than the party whose wings are Racists, Apocalyptic…

If he dies we can do one of those cartoons where a recently dead famous person is mourned by their creations or heroes, but it’s Trump going, “Who?”

The solenoids for my sprinkler control broke (SOMETHING I SHOULDN’T EVEN HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT BECAUSE LAWNS ARE STUPID) and my landlord is treating it like an all hands on deck emergency. He’s descending upon my house tomorrow to fix it straightaway because it’s the desert and the heat will kill it, but like...it’s…

I live in Nevada and I fucking hate lawns. It’s insane that they’re even still legal. The only reason I have one is that my landlord is oldschool and inexplicably thinks they’re worth pumping thousands of dollars into. 

Training to be able to DO something rather than to look a certain way is such a more useful way of training. It’s also what training is supposed to be for! Love this article, and can’t wait to see if you killed an elk. 

It’s just so weird to give a shit about a PR push from his image management team (which might not have even happened?) and who he’s divorced or married. The internet has made People Magazine Brain into an entire personality disorder.

Best batter fries at a fast food place go to (and I can’t believe I’m saying this) Taco Bell when they were briefly doing those. They leaned all the way in, and they were so yummy in an I-hate-myself kinda way. 

Nah, that goes to Popeye’s. I can’t believe every Popeye’s hasn’t spontaneously exploded because of how little anyone there knows what the fuck is going on. I’ve worked several drive-thru chain places, and I’m baffled by how badly every Popeye’s I’ve ever been to is run.

I think The Far Side would work really well as a super stylized, semi-episodic and surreal movie with copious stop motion effects. So basically what this probably would’ve been. Damn.

Billy Eichner is aging like wine. He gets hotter every year. 

I know the internet has a blood vendetta against Pratt because he likes trucks and hunting and has a somewhat nebulous connection to a shitbag church, but all that aside, I just don’t like him for the role? His two character types are basically the try-hard devil may care action guy in Jurassic World and that Amazon…

If you’ve ever stood in one of those glass wind boxes where they blow money and prize tickets around you and you have to try to catch them, I think that’s how my memories of the Trump administration are settling in my mind. There was so much, so constant, that I just don’t remember what was written on all the…

Oh my god, I think I just heard Jim Stephanie Sterling’s howling furious cackles reverberating over the mountains

I think it’s what happens when someone knows they want to snark have nothing to say. Words arranged in a sentence that feels like a witty snippy aside, but don’t actually mean anything when read in that order. 

Thank you! Nobody believes me that The Orville is good! It’s good! It’s weird that that’s true, but it is!

It’s a bit tone deaf. How did Gal Gadot singing Imagine make you feel?

Jesus. Thank you for doing what you’re doing, but man do I wish these unvaccinated fucks would just stay home and try to pray it away with ivermectin instead of fucking your brain up by running to the hospital. 

Also, they did the impossible, and made The Big Bang Theory funny somehow

I’m trying to remember if I’ve laughed harder at something on a TV Show in the last year than at, “Come on you stinky bitch, the library’s open!”