People keep bringing this up, but just because the law is on your side doesn't mean you escape judgment in all situations for being a massive dick. If you cheat or otherwise cause the breakup and then pursue someone legally to get back the ring you gave them, I reserve the right to consider you an asshole regardless…

Yeah... I feel like I need to know more about your grandmother now.

My husband said that he would turn me into a diamond, set it in a ring, and give it to his new wife.

OH EM GEE how could you tell so quickly that the letters in my comment rearrange to spell out, "objectify all the menzzzz"? #illuminati

I know, right? "Systemic influence" and "rape culture" are just like, really big words that bum me out. Like murder and genocide, so I just pretend those things don't exist either.

C'mon, baseball is much more boring.

You know, it's really funny how most of the people who complain about a 45-minute long continuously played half (+ a few minutes injury time) will happily sit and watch an American football half so broken up by clock stoppages that it takes more than twice as long as the soccer half to get through.

HOPE

Best pizza I've ever had: Canadian bacon, pineapple, cashews.

I know ediorial staff has nothing to do with ad placement/products but I find this hilarious

I'll just leave this here.

This is why we should have been more cautious about letting ladies become legislators.

Pfft. David Cameron-face-looks-like-gammon WISHES he were cool enough to be in the Illuminati.

It really does not matter who gives the Republican response, what their words are, or how they say them. You could have a human-sized bag of flour just stand there for five minutes and Republicans would still praise it as giving a better speech than Obama. Partisanship and ideology make everything, including talking,…

R.B.G. can do whatever the fuck she wants.

Only women really have to remain a virgin. Men are technically supposed to be too, but they usually get a free pass on the premarital sex (unless, of course, they're gay).

Assuming he is taller than his wife, why didn't he switch seats with her?

There's no word on how the mosquitos are taking it.

He's so snazzy! He wore pink pinstripes to his wedding!

Trying to be a more open person so I'm starting by telling you all about my secret crush on Mark Ronson.