May I suggest having coffee on the weekend? It’s pretty great.

....right. Again, you tried to twist what I said into some corny Vanilla Ice shit. That’s on you. As is your entire pathetic existence. Go fucking die.

You came up with that corny shit, not me. Honestly, you sound awful. Fuck off.

I think you should shut the fuck up and check yourself.

This is bullshit. Seriously.

I don’t understand the physics. How could this happen unless he was taking a piss right before and didn’t properly put it away or something? How does spandex just....fall off?

Whatever. You lost. You deserved to lose. Your loss was righteous. We won. We’re better. Get over it.

You don’t seem biased at all.

OK I DIDN’T SEE THE UMJAMMER LAMMY PART HOLY SHIT AT FIRST. HOLY SHIT.

This is the best thing ever.

THANK YOU. How is this not the main story here?!

I thought this was gonna be all about his nervous zipper energy. I was wrong.

Dude. Cmon.

Meh. Says you.

Ugh, can I get a Kanye-free version?

I truly enjoy bad things happening to Curt Schilling, so please fuck off with this.

Come on. Overreact much?

That Twitter exchange fills me with so much joy. I can’t even describe it. It’s everything.

What he said was idiotic, but so is this. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with Americans calling the sport soccer. It’s a legitimate name with history (look it up) and we already have a sport in this country that we call football. Can it with the elitism.

Anyone who unironically says “PC Police” automatically fucking sucks. You fucking suck.