On the E train today I sat in the tiny space between two man spreaders and they looked very confused. I weigh 85 lbs bc I’m sick so I’m the only one who can fit there. It was a good time. Mwahaha

Still better than those shitty subway poems.

#NEVERFORGET

Mitt looks pink to me. But the text is 100% white bread. #SpeakerSelfie LOL

I love how white men that claim to live in fear of ‘government tyranny’ and believe that it is righteous to rebel against it are the first ones to insist that all black people should strictly obey every police officer like a submissive dog.

Martha Stewart recipes have the virtue of being consistent, there may be a ridiculous ingredient or technique, but it’s generally limited to one or the other, they tend be easily worked around, and the food itself will be good.

This lady is a rockstar.

My mentions are a big pile of people who are angry at me for writing this so I’m just going to write it down here: Zola tweeted this insane story for two hours while racking up thousands of RTs on each tweet; it was nationally trending with 30K tweets about it when I woke up, but drawing attention to it on a large and…

can someone can get Michael Shannon to read Zola’s story like he read the sorority letter?? because I would pay for that.

I mean, that’s the only way to see if she’s vp material...

I want to hear a This American Life story of this.

Most women don’t have symptoms and it can leave women infertile, so it can have pretty severe effects long term.

I mean, having unprotected sex with someone you’re not in a monogamous relationship with is probably a bad idea (though you may think you’re monogamous with someone and they’re lying, that shit happens all the time). But if he knew he fucking had chlamydia, he should have told her and not engaged in that unprotected…

I figured it was a thinly veiled attempt to get Carly Fiorina in a bikini?

More than you ever wanted to know about urinal freshening.

The logo for the GOP should really be a camel trying frantically to wriggle its way through the eye of a needle.

Well that’s one way for the RNC to try to “right-size” the Republican primary circus.

Let them eat cake.

:(

I hate when people post pictures where they’re meant to look bad but you know they are posting it because they think they look good.