Drink straight with a chaser of iced tea, coffee, or Blue Powerade. For best results, make sure you have an empty stomach. Afterwards, eat an entire Digiorno pizza and immediately fall asleep without doing dishes.

excuse me, internet friends. i am interested in becoming a bourbon drinker. please explain the ins and outs of this activity. do i just pick up a bottle and go? do i put water in it? do i put other things in it? alcohol is one of my favorite things to spend money on, but let's not get ridiculous with suggestions. i'm…

He will never be healthy, until he returns that MVP he stole from LeBron.

Fuck the Cardinals, too.

Meatloaf for dinner. Not again!

His high school crush is finally divorcing that dumb jock Chet that she married right after graduation.

Lakers have cut everyone, will pay Kobe entire cap, Kobe will continue to play 1 v 5 for the rest of the season.

They found that airplane.

Howard Beck just saw 2 Girls One Cup.

Kobe plans to pass the ball at least once on Wednesday.

I got home and saw both of my cats licking their behinds on my kitchen table! So who's ready for Buttsgiving?

This week and weekend have been full of crappy news stories. I want everyone to know that somewhere a man has fallen madly in love with a dog. Not in a creepy way! My fiancé moved in two months ago and he is now my - our - dog's #1 fan.

So instead of going out to the bars and nightclubs tonight, I decided to stay in my room and study. Upon opening my email, I found out that I got a six-credit internship! I the decided to check on my miles balance, and I found out I have 30,000 miles on it! I can go somewhere this winter! Where shall I go?

It's about ducks?

Glad you didn't make a snarky comment. It's a great feeling when you see your child born. He had said he'd been up since 4am...i'm sure he's just relieved that he can get back, see his kid and then go to bed. It was a touching moment listening to the interview.

ty;gg

Except, boofuckinghoo, it is. You can make jokes about anything. That's the lovely part about humor/life. Let me direct you to my good friend Stephen Fry.

Except rape is not a topic someone should make jokes about.