First ever to go undefeated with a record of 18-1*

Contemporary sociologists trace the origin of the phrase “alternate facts” back to the 2015, the year that the Super Bowl champion Carolina Panthers became the first team in NFL history to go undefeated.

It’s kind of a problem when one reads the headline and starts to rattle off in their brain a list of sycophant journalists to which it might be referring.

Psst: your “extremely well qualified”candidate got her ass handed to her by a pus-filled anthromorphic talking hot dog.

This notion that a place like Oregon (4 out of 10 voters went Trump) is so much more enlightened than some “backwater” place like Ohio (5 of 10 for Trump) is silly and not to be taken seriously.

While you “yass queen” people were spending money buying ads in Georgia and dreaming of blue Texas, your “extremely well qualified candidate” couldn’t even win Michigan or Wisconsin and your ideology has led to the total collapse of the Democratic Party at the state and federal level.

You know I usually don’t hate on a pig for rolling in shit, but teaming up with Lewandowski is just—come fucking on!

Bezos must have gotten some future concession. Perhaps a layer of airspace just for Amazon drones?

Remember folks, whether you’re a democrat or Republican, the large media is controlled by the same corporations and CEOs who all hang out at Davos together. There is no Right-wing or liberal media. Just a media that…

You’re welcome:

We’re done here.

Until presented with video evidence to the contrary, I’m 100% convinced Ted Cruz dribbles with two hands, which is not a euphemism.

I want to see a Bernie Sanders vs. Ted Cruz game of one-on-one. Then we can really find out which political philosophy is right. Plus, I really want to see Bernie kick Cruz in the dick, Draymond Green style. Then stroll back on defense with a casual “sorry, my bad.”

Sent to me by Sean Spicer.

O-F-F-S-E-A-S-O-N

I’ll start the flu takes-

Good sports trolling is Good

Psh, this guy basically wrote the book on hiring foreigners and stashing assets abroad.

That is one of the best things about this. He is in Texas so it is like the inverse of Belichick. The people need the eschew their beliefs to support the team.

By the way, you’re making a very common mistake, one even actual medical outfits sometimes make. The symbol you’re thinking of is the Rod of Asclepius.