If Ross wants to do research, tell him to go to any Renaissance festival.

I think I found the root of your problem

Plot

I grew up watching the Packers in the ‘80s. Every Sunday, they would go out and lose by four touchdowns. We didn’t even need the Bears/Vikes to tell jokes about us. We told them about ourselves. We used to dream about having a team good enough to even get mad at. I couldn’t name a single QB who played during that time…

This rant would be way more appropriate if he were 37. And part of an autonomous collective.

I’ll add Split Second to the list.

Given the instability of their profession, pro athletes aren’t always eager to make their house a home, and Phil less so.

Dan Plesac - talk about a Milwaukee Brewers “let’s remember some guys” guy.

“young Hester makin dudes look foolish” is a good thesis if anybody’s writing about Scarlet Letter, you’re welcome

that’s a good impression of the NBA’s Central Division

I didn’t know the dad from Calvin and Hobbes had a Kinja account!

(sound of crickets)

Ask the Lakers ownership how that works.

Imagine badminton for dwarves being played by George and Jerry’s parents.

“the gunman supposedly was confused because the two had similar outfits on.”
 The hope of every dude in Boston with a Tom Brady jersey. 

Meanwhile, Dan Shaughnessy’s left doing the chores:

Pretty pumped that we’re changing who the most famous pitcher named Rocker is.

a bearded everyman with the body of an elementary school security guard