I don’t disagree, but I also feel its important to remember that a lot of this stems from the fact that Democratic voters and Republican voters have fundamentally differing ideas of what “politics” is. Politics for Democratic voters is basically a peaceful way of divvying up who gets what. We make the determinations…

There is a really good case study on this in terms of slaveowning women before the civil war, I’m reading the book right now and it’s fascinating, Out of the House of Bondage. Highly recommend it.

Yeah, sex addiction may very well be real and recognized in DSM VI, but too often it seems like a convenient excuse for men’s bad behavior.

hold up? how do you know it hasn’t had any affect on HER HEALTH?! It says nothing about him using a condom. we don’t know if either one of them have been tested in the last four years.

Totally agree. If he forgot having sex once, who can say how many other times he’s forgotten. Not even him. His wife should get as many facts he is capable of giving her and then she should think it out. But no pass for him. Come clean.

Imagine using the same mindset for other things

Why in the world should we trust the word of someone who has already proven himself untrustworthy? I see no reason to believe that he’s truly moved on and is committed to her. Maybe she caught him watching some truly revolting porn and going to a self-help club is her condition to remaining in the relationship and not…

But that presumes the wife would want to stay with him. I don’t want to be married to someone who’s cheated on me, even if it was only once, even if they’re committed to me again now, even if they’re incredibly sorry, even if they swear it will never happen again. There is NO excuse for not telling her because that’s…

Not telling her is denying her the opportunity to leave him and find a better than decent relationship with a man who will respect her from the beginning. The pain is already there, looming in the background. The act(s) have already been committed. I think the deception, breach of trust, and the infantilization of a…

She’s clearly in the dark about the extent of his “problem.” Maybe she’s already at the end of her rope and that would be the last straw, she deserves to know that he’s even worse than she thinks he is. He should let her go.

There is no way in hell he only cheated on her once, and I’ll bet my left arm that he paid those strippers for more than a titty show. And if he truly is a sex addict, odds are it started before they were married.

If his wife knows he’s in rehab for sex addiction, because of the porn or whatever, then she must wonder if he’s ever crossed a line. Maybe she’ll even feel relieved that it was only one person, if it was only one person. At any rate, I very much doubt he’s preserving her peace of mind by not telling her. She knows he…

This guy sounds like human trash that she should drag out to the curb. So he spares her some temporary anguish, but how much anguish is there ahead of her if she stays with this man? Yank off the bandaid!

I think we’re missing all of the things that the letter writer left out that make him look even worse.

He doesn’t get to determine his own repentance and he doesn’t get to decide if she’s ok with “only” getting cheated on “once” (lol I’ve got a bridge to sell you), as a newlywed no less. She is the only one who gets to decide that.

You enjoy getting STDs from your partner if they cheat just once? I pity you.

Yup. Sounds like it would cause him harm if she were to know because it would increase the chances of her leaving his ass and finding a better man. Anyway, it sounds like he needs a lot of work, from an actual professional, before he could be in a respectful relationship with a woman. As it stands he has her walking…

Jane usually advises people not to tell their spouses about their infidelity and I always disagree. So much of what she says is on point, but this particular strain of advice feels like it’s coming from a 1970s advice column written by a man with a mustache and a collection of diecast model Mustangs.

I do, too. She has a right to know and decide if she is OK still being married to him. As far as I know, none of the steps are “make some else’s decisions for them.”

“Soon after my wife and I were married, 4 years ago, I had sex with a woman at a club in Panama where I had a work assignment for a month. I promptly forgot all about it until I started the Sex Addicts Anonymous program last year.”