I can’t believe how people get so offended at the thought that someone else is going into a small amount of debt for a wedding or trip. Not all of us have parents to bankroll it for us. Also, nothing wrong with just wanting money. I returned a lot of the gifts we got (I think I got three waffle makers) and it would…

Invite a bunch of Italian and Chinese friends. They will have no problems giving you cash!

“Throwing a wedding is also expensive. Extremely expensive. But if you can’t afford to throw it without an expected $150 rebate from your guest on fine china, scale the fuck back.”

I’m getting a lot of snippy responses on how I should pay for my own wedding. Please take several seats - I was using hyperbole, we’re financially sound, I just dont want the damn gifts. I’d rather pay off the small amount that we’ll be left with after our wedding. Considering we’ve already paid for 75% of our entire…

Northerner here who does very much care about thank you notes. That’s one thing southerners definitely have on northerners: formal manners.

However, while it’s not poor maners to not give a gift, it IS poor manners to not send a thank you of some kind.

Judging by the comments, it sounds like everyone feels like they have to buy a Kitchenaid mixer for every wedding they attend (c’mon... if you have friends who expect that, I think you need new friends).

1. Gifts are not required, it’s simply that they’ve become part of the “social contract” in society. Guests: You are under no actual obligation to get a gift. Hosts: No one is obliged to give you a gift. ‘Dems the real “rules,” deal with it.

My best friend’s wedding was a nightmare for me, too. Her expectations were outrageous. And this is someone who is so kind and loyal and generous. She was a different person during her wedding. Both sets of parents insisted on ballooning the guest list to over 300 people, but neither contributed financially. So there…

Wow you were expected to pay for things? And she knew you were unemployed? I could never do that to a friend. If I had a wedding but my MOH was poor I’d cover the cost of the events she would be expected to organize.

I agree with you on thank you notes. I think it’s incredibly rude, and I love sending and receiving thank you notes. Acknowledgement is real! Even an e-mail is totally okay.

My husband and I didn’t register for wedding gifts and people LOST THEIR MINDS. I’m in my mid-30s and my husband is in his mid-40s. We are financially comfortable, have no children and disposable income. We don’t need any more things. If we really want something, we buy it. We requested no gifts at our wedding and…

Fully in agreement.

I’m going to go full grinch here but I HATE baby showers for 2nd, 3rd babies. I have a family member who is having her 3rd child and has now had 3 showers. My MIL tried to justify it by saying the 3rd was a surprise so they’d given all their stuff away. Im also probably biased because they’re right wing, evangelical…

My rule of thumb is used to be that if I travel to your wedding, I’m not giving you a gift. Your gift is my presence, and you asked for it directly. If your wedding is near my home, I’ll probably give a gift. Luckily, I no longer travel to weddings. When I turned thirty two years ago I made a personal rule: no flying…

Perhaps something hand made? I make quilts for weddings, which is a huge investment of time and resources, but I love quilting, so it feels like something I “get” to do rather than “have” to do. The recipient is always flabbergasted - hand made things have so much more meaning. My husband is into woodworking, so he’s…

I dunno where I stand on this.

I agree, for the most part.

Problem solved

I mean, I feel like the general point in this case and all case is that one should never expect a gift. A gift when received is appreciated and enjoyed. To give a give is also enjoyed, but damn sometimes its stressful. Sometimes a person feels an obligation to give a gift, like when a close friend has a baby or a…