Why can’t the dude just go for an outdoor adventure without killing shit. Like, your dad is about as bad as they get but at least he doesn’t spend his free time literally murdering for recreation.

I used to eat a lot of tomatoes out of season and then I had a really great tomato in season which ruined me for any tomatoes out of season.  Now, out-of-season tomatoes taste like round, red-colored cucumbers to me.  Frankly, I’m angry that the grocery stores and restaurants try to sell them to me.  :)

This is probably illegal, because you have to pay to enter a lottery for the lifetime pass, and that’s called gambling. 

You mean like this guy?

I admire your adventurous spirit, but this doesn’t work well from an architectural standpoint, hence your need to use treacherous toothpicks to hold the thing together.

Corollary: don’t be a dick about your own food allergy.

I only struggle with it because the writer is misusing the word (never mind that it’s a word that doesn’t add anything useful to the conversation — cf. Orwell, “Politics and the English Language”). There’s nothing “heteronormative” about the cup design, unless “heteronormative” is taken to mean any depiction of…

“the entirety of sports fandom involves bragging about shit that you, personally, never did yourself”

They are total sociopaths.  The right way to do it is to sit at the bar and just order a few beers (plus lunch) over the course of a few hours. Then you’re a paying customer for the duration of your visit. 

Counter-counterpoint: poor people in South Dakota need good jobs and good governance, not loan sharks. Right now, South Dakota is a shithole state that refused the Medicaid expansion to deny basic health care for its poorest citizens, and that passed so-called “right to work” laws to bust union protections for…

Dirt track in South Dakota owned by a payday lender.  What’s not to love? 

The answer is Trump’s ego.

Jaguar’s earlobes!  Wolves’ nipple chips!

OK so let McD open a franchise in the ruins only if they sell something legitimately Roman. A loaf of bread with garum and a glass of wine sweetened with lead sugar. :)

Hmm, looks like a fox you say?

Takeaway: just don’t use cruise control unless you’re prepared to immediately retake control of the vehicle.

We’ve always changed the names of our adopted animals, but they are cats who couldn’t care less what you call them. 

Now we know why Taco Bell is so cheap -- they use shelter pups as meat.