There’s only one way to be sure that you won’t get any Chick-fil-A on you. 

This is how Trump is going to fight for his reelection in 2020. There’s a good chance that the maga-heads will actually reelect him, but if he loses, he will never, ever concede, and he will never, ever leave the White House unless he is physically evicted by law enforcement.

If you think about it, the mathematical probability of having multiple razor-thin elections is extremely small. It’s like balancing a pencil on its tip. The more likely scenario is that somebody is up to shenanigans and nudging the vote tally to eke out a win for their guy (you wouldn’t want to nudge it further than…

Well, there are people out there who apparently eat breadsticks with pizza, that makes me even angrier.  At least with fries, it’s a different type of carb. 

You forgot to mention the ur-specimen of this douche genus:

“not what the founding fathers intended”

The man isn’t dumb, he went to Yale Law and got a D.Phil. from Oxford as a Marshall scholar. He’s smart but evil and unhinged, like his friend Ted Cruz.

This motherfucker will say and do anything to stay in power. You know he’d never concede defeat in 2020 and he’s never leaving the White House unless he’s forcibly evicted by law enforcement.

I was picturing an Instant Pot that’s also a sous vide machine. That would be an awesome multi-purposed kitchen thing. If it’s just a circulator, I’ll stick with my Joule.

If Trump wasn’t a teetotaler, this is what he would drink, while eating his burned steak with ketchup. 

Ordering a pizza AND breadsticks is something you should only do if you’re terminally ill. 

The Dems can’t do shit because they don’t control the Senate.  If you’re pissed about this, put the Dems back in control of the Senate. 

Actually avocados are designed to be eaten whole by the extinct giant sloth, so humans shouldn’t be eating them anyways. 

Chuck Hoskin sounds like an asshole who seems to have forgotten that (1) Warren isn’t trying to claim tribal citizenship, she’s just trying to verify a family story of Cherokee ancestry; and (2) Warren is a great ally for tribal interests, unlike the Republicans, who throw around “Pocahontas” as a racial slur, enjoy…

Seriously.  We are already geoegineering...

Well the Repubs found a black man who hates black people when they appointed Uncle Thomas to the bench (to replace Justice Thurgood Marshall, for fuck’s sake). Yes, there’s definitely a deep bench of women who hate women to help the Bro Justice draft his opinions.

Guess what, anybody who clerks for any Supreme Court Justice is sitting pretty for the rest of their career as a fucking rockstar lawyer. Even if it’s Justice Uncle Thomas or Thief Justice Gorsuch or Justice Bro Kavanaugh.

To expect anything different from McConnell is naive. The man is just a pure political operator. The only way to stop him is to remove him from power. 

Well, there was Kavanaugh, he ended up .... hmm