I’m president and you’re not!

Uh, he’s worth several hundred million dollars. That’s called fuck you money. As in, “Fuck you, my name is spelled Xjwerdfjklw, spell it correctly and suck my dick or I’ll have you fired and short a million shares of stock in your business.”

Huh huh, you said sect.

So, what’s the best novel ever specifically written for nanowrimo? By a previously-published author? By a never-before-published author?

What’s your point? Nazis had good grooming? They also rocked some excellent Hugo Boss-styled uniforms. They were also Nazis.

It wasn’t meant to be funny...

Your papers do not appear to be in order, sir.

You think wildlife flourishes on the greens? You know they load up that grass with chemicals to kill any bugs or rodents. Basically, it’s astroturf.

Indeed, look at this stupid shit:

Not to mention that golf courses are usually completely unnatural, unless you’re in Scotland which naturally looks like a golf course. Look at this stupid shit:

If you ban zoos, that means we’ll be euthanizing all the animals that aren’t suitable to be re-released into the wild, and it also means that only rich people will get to see these beautiful animals in person, on safari, and then shoot them.

I agree, the fact that he “has never tried a case” should NOT be the leading criticism of this candidate. He should not be a federal judge, but this is not the main reason why. He clerked for a US district court judge and for a US appeals court judge, and this experience behind the bench is arguably more relevant that…

Scuze me, while I kiss this guy.

The Senate GOP takes a stand against harming individual young girls by molesting them, but it’s OK to systematically harm them by the thousands or millions with policies like denial of access to birth control, abortion, and health care, and denial of parental resources that could help young girls, like food stamps,…

I sympathize, as a resident of a US state that did not vote for Trump, the US equivalent of Brexit.

Santa doesn’t care about international politics but he does prefer rich kids — look at how many more presents he brings to them.

Also, England, when you voted for Brexit, YOU KILLED TINY TIM.

In other bad Christmas news for the UK, TINY TIM DIES, because, are you kidding me, that old man Scrooge isn’t going to change his ways.

Here comes the liberal circular firing squad.

You also forgot: