Now, if she managed to get his face onto (into?) her vagina, and not, say, just onto her vulva, that would definitely be a feat of athletic prowess worthy of a medal.

I have never seen any of these movies, but when I saw the headline I squealed out loud and had to look around to check no one heard me. I LOVE when you guys recap getting drunk and going to the movies. I had to be very careful not to snort or guffaw while reading, probably should have found and unused conference room.…

She shouldn’t put ice cream in her vagina, she could get an infection.

I mean 20k is still a lot of bread. You could put a nice down payment on a new home for 20k. You can get an affordable, reliable Kia for 20k and have money left over.

Coke has the incredible effect of making you believe you are the sexiest, most intelligent and capable person in the room, and at the same time doing the opposite of all those things.

I’m with you. Never tried it. I’m scared I would like it too much. I like coffee, so I conclude...... I can’t have a substance controlling me.

Well at least she didn’t shove a living hamster up a guy named John.

Cocaine today is like Tom Cruise, better back in the day, but not totally horrible.

I did cocaine once, like snorted exactly one tiny baby line, and it was the most boring night of my life. Like, the friend I was hanging out with was a major cokehead and it seemed to make him really hyper and extra maudlin and waaaaaay more insistent about playing me his terrible sad manic pixie dream boy music he…

People out here trying coke like they’ve never seen New Jack City. We know where this road ends, Pookie.

I wouldn’t worry too much. From what I gather off of mrs. Pryors comments, the coke of today is so weak it would probably only make you want to give some guy a hand job.

This popped up in my feed this morning and I was like “Well the Root is gonna get a kick out of this, ha.”

I would identify that face as mom’s “You think that talk is funny?” face. It was almost always immediately followed by the “Go get your father’s belt.” face. Tutankhamen must have been some kinda Asshole for her face to get set like that.   

Its a crime to lie about cheese.

I love how Cheddar Man’s expression is entirely YEAH I SAID IT.

Wait a minute;