Amal Clooney may or may not be pregnant, but she is not due with anything, much less an actual human baby (let alone 2), in effing March. I am. I am due in March. And while I am showing “small” for my due date (based on comparing with every other pregnant woman in my prenatal class), and have no swelling or weight…

Congratulations, Kelly! At 7 months up the spout myself, I empathize most sincerely with turning over in bed, regular pooping (chia seeds helped tho), the constant peeing, interrupted-as-fuck sleep, and how godforsakenly tiny my stomach is now, resulting in heartburn. Also, what the fuck with tying shoes. I need…

Same. I just wept, intermittently and disconsolately, for weeks afterwards while feeling like a heavy brick of despair was crushing me from above. I so missed the temporary oblivion of gin and indica :(

please post if you remember :) that’s such a thoughtful and lovely gift. i’d love to see it!

jealous! great present!

a full-on fancy shave kit for the husband! and a soda stream for my parents. huge hits! last year we were too broke to buy presents, so this has been really lovely. since i’m 6mo pregnant with our first babby, i got all kinds of cool shit - a beatrix potter collection, a giant pink salt rock lamp for midnight…

i, too, am eating bacon! this sloth gif is everything i need right now beyond crackling pork strips.

it’s Sally Bumbo!

always! I always think that. I picture white arctic foxes and a David Attenborough voiceover. then I see his stupid actual face and it’s as jarring as a misplaced record scratch in a crowded club.

good job. I believe one is doing something right if Cheeto Voldemort sees fit to throw a tweetrum in your general direction :)

“face anus”

oh, that makes me happy! all the stars for you.

congratulations on your Twitter commendation! I’m dying to know what elicited that personal compliment ;) do tell!

god. so he has a repellant mind, too. I also hate his sneering sleaze-face but could have overlooked it if he hadn’t opened his mouth to spew gross word-garbage.

fuck yeah. that’s the best thing I’ve read in days

I skipped reading everything after that in order to come here with my trenchant thoughts and you have had them already. vegan chicken parmigiana. why? what?! why?!?

all I see is Cat Marnell

came here to say the same thing! looked dank.

new garage-rock band name: Trash Panda Overlords. 10/10 would buy album based on name alone

don’t stop there! if you didn’t already plan to, get ahold of the other two books in the trilogy - Year Of The Flood (my fave) and Maddaddam. Having read all 3 multiple times over the years, Oryx & Crake, while awesome, is the least of the books.