I heard last night that he hired an expert on foreign bribery

Nah, I'll just wait for the AVClub's crack team of political journalists to cover it.

What are you talking about? They're "The best"! "The greatest guy(s) ever"!

What does the rest of the article say? Or, are you going to make me buy a WSJ subscription?

It's really hard to make a joke these days. Half the time, reality beat you to it.

That elitist cosmopolitan!
Actually, Cohaagen would be a better fit in this cabinet anyway.

Smack'll do that, yeah

Shredder and Hans Gruber will be confirmed as US Attorneys next week

Putting this guy in front of the press is just the Trump administration's way of pushing back on the "they're all Fredo" memes. Apparently, that lookalike contest did have a winner.

"But Rord Vader, Rord Sidious promised us peace!!"

"The swordsman was always supposed to be, uh, let's see, um…a ten foot tall spider? Yes, that's right, that's what it was always supposed to be!"

"Wait'll you see the making-of featurette, mom. It's two hours long, mom."

Then you just laughed and locked the basement door again?

"Indy wasn't supposed to shoot the guy spinning the sabre, in the script BonBon grabbed him and carried him up a flagpole where he hung him by his underwear!"
"Oh, and all copies of the original films are considered illegal for distribution."

George knows where to get the comfy Director's chairs

"I was always disappointed that we had to cut out BonBon, the adorable Silverback Gorilla in a tux that was supposed to accompany Indy on all his adventures. Well, we've corrected that now through the magic of CGI, and you can see all his wacky hijinks! As it was originally intended of course."

And Slick Shoes. So many ways to fix that character…

Oooh. Temple of Doom Special Edition comin right up. They always intended for Short Round to have rocket boosters.

"So this mark here or the one ov—-"
"Perfect! Next scene!"
"But George, we—"
"Don't worry, we'll fix it in post."

Yes, but what does George Lucas think?