That poor bastard, now he can only go to Padres and Phillies games.

*stamps WHO WATCHES THIS off Commentariat Bingo Card*

+1 greatest night in the history of our sport

This is the same LA crowd that chanted “You tapped out!” at HHH when he wanted a sympathetic ovation after losing to Lesnar.

I’m sure Bill Simmons is there. Expect a lengthy dissertation tomorrow about how the overly confident and not-well-liked demeanor of the Ball family relates to the Red Sox in the 2000s, the Pats in the 2000s and 2010s, the Celtics in the 1980s, the Bruins in 1990s, and the Miz when he was on the Real World. And let’s…

Dude would have beaten Rodman and Malone in their primes.

So how’s that fellow who turned them down to go back to LA for less money doing?

“Oh come on, they’re not THAT bad.”

Baseball games.

The Mets have literally nothing to lose by putting him in the show, right?

That season Ubaldo almost won a Cy Young feels like one thousand years ago. Man.

No, just the Mets.

That’s a great point. Bumgarner takes it as a personal affront any time a batter walks to the plate with an actual bat in his hand, and will put a contract out on you and your family if you homer off him, but we’re supposed to be offended that Puig watches his majestic dinger sail into the night a couple of seconds…

“We’re playing horrible right now, we don’t need this shit.”

“I don’t think he knows what having respect for the game is. We’re playing horrible right now, we don’t need his shit.”

“Run faster!”

Hi.

Jesus, if you get rattled from one of the most fundamental plays in baseball, then there’s only ONE WORD TO DESCRIBE YOU AND I’M GONNA SPELL IT OU—

Don’t tell Justin. If getting bunted on shook him up, finding out this kid is visiting Kate will really fuck with his head.

Vegas should take bets on the likelihood of all of them retiring before Bartolo Colon