All it needs is a decent engine and a decent manual transmission. I say manual because the CVT is fine per CVT standards, but the 5 speed is an abomination with its drunk-esque precision and total lack of clutch feel.

We all know which party it is. And we all know that they roll coal for the same reason they constantly vote to fuck over people less fortunate than themselves: they enjoy being dicks, even if their actions ultimately end up harming themselves too.

“Times are so tough nowadays” bray the Trumpies, as they tow the boat they couldn’t afford behind the gigantic truck they didn’t need and park it in front of the house they opted to buy in the town that was built entirely around the one industry that’s obsolete now. “Pop-Pop raised twelve kids on his salary at the ol’…

Dumb, indeed.

Giant diesel truck: 7 year loan.

Feeshin’ boat: 20 year loan.

Living paycheck-to-paycheck for stupid shit: priceless.

I’m sure Ted Nugent has responses: “...blahblahblahblahblah FREEDOM blahblahblahblahblah...!”  

They boys ain’t rolling coal anyway, these guys are rolling coal:

Our stupidity sure has been on full display as of late. We should just replace our flag with a naked hairy ass, because that’s what we’re showing the world right now.

This should be banned period, if you do this to your truck on purpose you are a piece of fucking garbage, no exceptions you just are. If you defend people who do this you are also a piece of garbage.

“Whats the first thing that comes to mind when you think of Chevy?”

I really want to be on one of these. “What’s the first thing you think of when you see the Chevy Silverado?” “Uh, some redneck out cruisin for some poontang” “Oh, that’s, well..... What about the 4g WiFi included in the Silverado?” “I need gigabit speed for the shit I jerk off to man. Seriously, it’s some​ weird shit.…

Don’t buy anything with a bio-hazard tag.

Who the hell let this happen?! who was supposed to be watching David right now huh? Patrick?!

My ex-girlfriend drove a cranberry-red Toyota Carolla just like this one. Randomly running in to her in public is near the top of my Top 5 Most Awkward Situations list, since things ended very badly. So, naturally, whenever I see a car like this, it tends to cause anxiety and paranoia.

Yup, you got it. I started wearing hats positioned at unconventional angles as well. Got some raderwerks wheels off ebay, too! You can’t tell they’re not real BBSs

Oh no. You took up vaping didn’t you? Quitting is no easier than with cigarettes, but you have our support!

Torch, as someone who holds a degree in literature and composition, I want to applaud you for this:

Volvo is just fucking killing it with style right now, incorporating the best parts of Swedish Minimalism on the exterior and Interior.