What will I do if I don’t make you horny

that would be cute!

If they come in evenly and you pluck them, you could pretend it’s a tiara.

That Anderson Cooper. You give him a centimeter, and he’ll take a mile.

When I was 17 and working the deli counter at Shop-Rite, there was this loser who couldn’t keep his mouth shut about various parts of my body every day. I told him if he didn’t shut the fuck up I’d slap him with a pastrami brisket. He didn’t shut up. I grabbed a whole wrapped pastrami brisket and whomped the bejesus…

thats how i felt about hte last debate. the first debate was funny, the second debate was awful.

Wait until your nipple hair goes white. You know how long they get? Imagine now you don’t notice them for several months.

You know where I’m grey?

Now he’s just trying to pretend his technique on pussy grabbing is lousy. wtf This is def a meltdown

“Her country”...Slovenia?

I might be the only one who thinks so, but Marla Maples put this up yesterday. I think drawing attention to the fact that she, the ex wife of orange Cosby, was also a teen beauty queen at one point, is some subtle shade...

Melania wasn’t throwing shade; she still fully supports her husband.

Like, he literally said something to the effect of “I don’t know if you’re actually complimenting me or not...” lol The whole thing was a hilarious mindfuck she played on the entire family.

THANK YOU for including the Hillary Clinton one. People seemed to be so confused thinking she actually/genuinely complimented his children. Like, no. They were her props in that moment. She knew it; they knew it; we knew it; the audience (who chuckled) knew it. Hell, people not even yet born knew what she meant.

I know HRC will have to debate him on the 19th if he doesn’t decide to skip it- and he’ll NEVER skip it; his ego won’t allow it- but seriously? It is beneath her to debate this man.

.

He thinks they’re talking about an actual cat.

You’ll have to excuse me. I HAVE TO GO CATCH UP WITH MY SKIN.

When are we going to start getting angry at Howard Stern for all his shitbag misogynistic remarks?