Paying for it is for the lower classes.

Turn the sound on.

I mean how hard do I have to google to find a 10 minute long internet compilation of baseball managers throwing giant tantrums? I’m not sure that the way griping about calls in baseball works is really a good model, stop sign or no.

Be right back, I need to cancel swim lessons for the kiddo.

She told the BBC that was because she didn’t figure to make the podium and so she didn’t put any makeup on before the run.

Everybody knew this was coming, since Special Projects is where they send you when they don’t know what to do with you any more, but it still hurts.

Lots of things die with that combination, but journalism won’t go because of high cholesterol.

At Pat’s King of Steaks you can do both!

Yeah, the Swiss seem to have their shit together. Maybe the problem isn’t guns, it’s Americans with guns.

The easy answer (not so easy, but easier than anything else) is to get the fuck out of America for safer shores. That’s what we’re trying for, so the little 1 year old doesn’t have to live like this.

He didn’t rule based on patent law, but on copyright law. He ruled that the lyrics were too “brief, unoriginal and uncreative to warrant protection under the Copyright Act”.

You know the quakers are pacifists, right?

Maybe you have a guard badger! You should really broadcast this so everyone can play along, maybe set up a betting pool for what kind of critters you have.

We have bunnies living under the shed in the back yard. The neighborhood alleycats flee like their tails are on fire every time the cute little fluffy demons emerge. I always wondered what the bunnies had done to those cats, but now I don’t need to know.

I’ve heard that! One drawback of living among the heathens, I guess.

We time our shopping trips for when the Broncos are on. It’s glorious, low-key Sunday shopping that you can’t get any other time of the year.

I only ever hate-watched football so I’m not really their target demographic anyway, but I can’t tell whether or not it’s the CTE or the gross militarism or the 11 minutes of action in a 3 1/2 hour broadcast that turns me off these days.

They did the whole “you died in a plane crash, here is the afterlife” thing for us one Halloween. Not Great Heaven was occupied by a really cute young married lady in the ward who was dressed kind of trashy.

These are the same guys that wore tee shirts around the Democratic National Convention that said: “We get up early to beat the crowds.”

In all fairness, the article itself is really well done and worth reading, but holyshit there should be a Pulitzer for illustration and Jim Cooke should win it every year.