Tommy Mottola is 67 years old, yet he liberally uses multiple exclamation points as if he were a 13 year old on a sugar-high.

The entire Republican strategy is exploiting the innate human tendency to fear and loathe people who are different so their base of useful idiots doesn’t know they’re robbing them blind.

Let’s stop pretending that the goals of the new government are anything other than directly causing harm. This bill is designed to shame, bully, and kill transgender students, and that’s exactly what it would do.

Burke Ramsey, is that you?

So you won’t be watching ABC’s 2hour Menendez Brothers extravaganza tomorrow night?

“Six year old American Beauty Queen” is a sentence I want to fucking set on fire.

I’ve always thought Joe Scarborough is a dead ringer for Bert from Sesame Street.

OMG he’s so effing funny and Penny is a character.

Godamn I hate conservatives who love subversive music but apparently never grasped (or just think it’s fine to ignore) the lyrics. “Clampdown,” “Know Your Rights,” Career Opportunities”...not to mention “Radio Radio” and “Oliver’s Army.” And the sainted name of Joey Ramone should never pass through Scarborough’s…

Later that evening, when the pair “finally staggered back into Paul [Simon’s] apartment,” Marshall remembered that she was supposed to be on a date with Art Garfunkel.

Fun fact: Fred Armisen did his pitch-perfect Penny Marshall impression for this memoir’s official book trailer. In it, Penny answers a phone call from Carrie.

He probably just owns the t-shirt from Urban Outfitters.

While the segment was pretty funny,

It’s great when John Oliver is referenced here because it gives me the opportunity to say:

What other songs should people offer to perform? My suggestions:

He tried. But America said, “No, thanks. We’re good.”

i barely even recognize this as satire.

I never know anymore if people are aping Trump when they say things like “Very smart move!” (I myself love using “Sad.” and find many don’t understand the homage.)