Good job, good effort.

smooth cock of the ball

Not completely sure we watched the same movie – no, seriously, I saw it at TIFF so it's possible things have changed.

Taking the ambulance out of Madden was the easy part; keeping Pat Summerall out of the ambulance would prove far more challenging.

Pretty sure we can actually embed tweets here now, and this one's too good not to:

He's Canadian, thus he's constitutionally required to be a poor tipper.

:o

And for their game plan, Team USA turned to a Hall of Famer:

+i

Knowing that my parents met curling means knowing that my parents met drunk.

Whoops, your insecurities are showing!

Don't worry, we're used to it!

Don't know if the rest of the world can benefit, but Canadians at the very least can watch the current event live here:

Holy shit. How does this not have more stars.

It's about time Stewart replaced his old Seahawks jersey. I've been trying to tell him for years that Jerramy Stevens' nickname was Impulse Plower.

From that wind chill article:

There's still one burning question left to be answered:

Cathal Kelly is the journalistic equivalent of an ambulance-chasing lawyer. He wrote some anti-fighting diatribe one day after Wade Belak killed himself. He's a Scocca-level troll, the lowest of the low.