The best spanking scene didn’t even have any. Much too perilous!

During my first pregnancy, my water broke during a fall moon and so did 10 other lady’s. We all were pretty much delivering at the same time the next morning. Good luck!

Since you due date is set at 40 weeks and you’re full term at 38, you’ll be fine. Whether you’ll go into labor or not, your guess is as good as mine.

No. to the public asking you to a dance thing. Because then you’re stuck in front of a crowd of people in the lobby with a guy holding a dozen roses and singing and you have to say yes even though you DO NOT WANT TO GO WITH HIM but can’t say no because then you’d be a “bitch” who said no to that very sweet offer. UGH.

Having prom-asking being turned into some Huge Major Life Event Proposal is over the top and silly. These are teens! This is not a marriage proposal! STOP DOING THIS, KIDS!!! It’s seriously not that big a deal. It isn’t.

I can’t with these promposals. It’s fucking ridiculous. Too much pressure on a boy to come up with something over the top; too much pressure for a girl to accept a date she might not want because some guy has put in a lot of effort. Awkward phone calls are sweet. Getting a note passed in class asking you to prom is…

Is this what being old is? Wanting to yell at these kids to get off my nonexistent yard?

Yeah, he was involved with 4 top 20 Billboard songs so as much as I don’t like his music, he’s technically correct. Which, you know.

I love you so much PHILLIP J FRY

I dunno, I was thinking more along the lines of “Thanks, moderate spender. Please select erotic transaction.”

Look, you had to say two thousand in the year 2000, because what the heck else were you going to say? And from 2001-2009, if you wanted to say two thousand one instead of twenty oh one, I’d give you a pass, because it’s the same number of syllables. But from 2010 until 2099 you cut a syllable by saying twenty whatever…

On NPR there was a story about a 56-year-old man who was getting a master’s degree from George Washington University. At the same time, two of his children were also getting their master’s degrees, and a third was getting her bachelor’s, all from the same university as their father.

Hi Jezzies! What are you up to tonight? Netflix PSA - Best in Show and the Princess Bride are both streaming now, so that basically sums up my plans for tonight (adding in some time to pump breastmilk, enjoy a couple of glasses of champagne, and chill with my cranky 7 week old baby.)

As a major-league fan of Mr. Rogers who didn’t expect this spin-off to merit the same kind of enthusiasm, I’m gonna have to disagree pretty vehemently. There are plenty of cheesy crap kids’ shows that are *educational* in all the most superficial and irritating ways, but Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood is teaching a…

I thought that usually they the only did the “mom behind the sheet”thing when the child was alive. The mom was there to keep her squirming kid still through the long exposure times that cameras required then. I can’t imagine why you would need to do it with a corpse...

Finally.