“Hey Paul, you’re just like a bill. I can leave you alone for 10 days and neither will make it.”*

(* with Congress not in session)

“When will this man have respect for our laws and our history? ‘Three in a row’? He can’t run for President again!”

You would’ve thought someone in his village taught him that.

When they did this back in 2008, it ended with the secret service swarming Gilbert Arenas right before he could take his shot.

THIS is what my tax dollars are going to!?

Obama really should learn to respect his elders.

Ghost of Ernie Banks: Let’s play two!

He must have been part of a recently expelled frat, which tends to free up the schedule.

Please expand on why its so unbelievable that he would use “jest” or “perceived.” Unless of course you're running late to a rally.

I’m black, and I’m perfectly fine with the double standard regarding who can and cannot say nigga. White people are going to have to let that one go.

I think you should consider that it's juuuuuuuuuust possible that this story, about a person observing with their own eyes a coach parroting his star player's play-calls, might be in the news because AN NBA COACH IS PARROTING HIS STAR PLAYER'S PLAY-CALLS. If it's happening, it's being reported because IT IS HAPPENING.

I haven't seen him murder something that bad since he and Razzle decided to go to the liquor store.

Don’t you love how in America people trip over themselves to defend/justify/wax poetic about billionaires as if they were fucking gods?

What do you do for work sir?

What's even funnier is that for a few hours, his Wikipedia entry shows him being killed by Brock Lesnar.

Sorry, but is he wearing Vans? Did he skate to the courthouse?

Yeah, who on this planet would *ever* find a bunch of actors pretending to beat the shit out of each other interesting?

It took me a moment to realize that was Cole he was murdering. He ate that F5 like a champ.

Greatest segment on RAW ever. It was awesome and hilarious.