Did you know that this woman ironically WAS aware of her surroundings, hence the text she sent?

Maybe the police should also remind people to not rape/murder people? Just sayin’

I love the idea that an eyewitness can determine whether or not you’re cured of cancer. Like, dude. What did you witness, all Val Kilmer’s cells under a microscope at the same time?!

Even though he apparently said ‘feel my finger’and not ‘pull my finger’, all I was imagining was Tom locking eyes and very earnestly farting.

The power of Tom Cruise’s touch is known

I like this game. I would build hospitals in underserved areas that focus on preventative care and women’s health including abortion procedures. I would fund high-quality daycare facilities in inner cities that include family counseling and job training for single parents. I would also be the bail money fairy for…

If I had billions of dollars I would just build affordable housing for all the struggling people in Seattle. It’s a band aid over a bullet hole but at least people have temporary relief from the elements. I would also double NIH or CDC or UNHCR funding or prevent the extinction of elephants.

I once spoke at a Career Day where my sister taught middle school. When I walked into that building, the stench.. OMG, it was something I’d never experienced.

Good call, trying for a girl might be a likely explanation too. I really can’t imagine how you would effectively parent 14 kids, unless you pull a Duggar and make the older kids work in drudgery raising the younger ones until they get married and leave.

Well, her body, her choice.

That and/or they wanted to “keep trying for a girl”, despite the overwhelming numbers in foster care...

That poor woman’s towels.

I know the answer is likely religion, but I can’t quite wrap my head around why people would want to have 14 children. My family had four and it was a mess of scheduling, meal planning, laundry, etc. This would be my nightmare.

It deserves the love - it was really funny and it had something to say.

Tiffany still trades on the Trump name to her own benefit. She supported her father during the campaign and has never denounced anything he and his other kids have done. This fantasy that she’s a Trump disruptor needs to be put to bed. Melania and Tiffany aren’t victims or saviours, the joke isn’t funny anymore.

I lol’d. Nicely done.

Among tomorrow’s Trump Toilet Tweets:

1. Is this really what you’re focusing on? She did not choose to make it a public topic. Wilmer Valderramma chose to make it a public topic when he discussed it live on air with Howard Stern in 2006.

Bad take.