Toronto 504 streetcar, homeless guy gets on wearing only running shoes and pants that are too big and nasty. He is a mess and drunk and he has to hold the waist of his pants to keep them on. The streetcar has people in most of the seats but only a couple people standing. This guy weaves his way down the car looking…

I was riding the 1 in SF through Chinatown on my way to work, standing around the middle of the bus. The front seats face inward and are reserved for the elderly. Typically passengers standing in the front face outward towards the seats. This would prove to become a recipe for disaster.

It was probably ‘91 during morning rush as I was heading to the city on the N train. I walked into a crowded car and miraculously managed to snag a seat. Right across from me between the standing bodies I could partially see a homeless dude taking up the entire 4-seater section. He was laying belly down and taking a…

Elmo, however...

My favorite story is on the ACE downtown from roughly 50th Street to Penn Station (where I decided to hop off). As a regular subway rider you quickly learn to question the moment you step on to a surprisingly empty train...

I was riding a packed Toronto subway and heard a loud noise. It was a burpy scream from a homeless man. He was yelling out the stops, one by one, as we passed them. “ST. GEORGE! KING STREET!” Everyone on the car rolled their eyes, as if to say “here we go.” There was an air of insanity and violence about the guy that…

This must be the first time in history a black person wished police had turned a fire hose on him.

I get on a crowded bus one afternoon and settled into one of the seats in the back which face toward the center of the bus. A few moments later a woman with the telltale signs of long term drug abuse (disheveled, very thin, lacking several teeth, etc.) sits in the seat directly across and facing me. She proceeds to…

Once I was taking the BART back to Berkeley from San Francisco. It was the last train across the bay, which, as usual, was full of stumbling drunks. A few got into a pull-up contest on the rails attached to the top of the train. As one dude descended, he shit himself, violently. This was before we reached the first…

On the Metro, a friend and I were leaving DC and heading back to Virginia. It was St. Patrick’s Day, so there were plenty of drunk people wearing green and being obnoxious. Fair enough, it’s one of the days when that’s more acceptable.

I posted this before under a different username in a similar thread on Jezebel, but I’ll leave it here as well:

On the Metro in DC, I saw a used condom tied to one of the floor-to-ceiling poles. Just rocking back in forth as the train swayed down the tracks...

My wife was riding the blue line from work in Chicago about 2 years ago. A panhandler was going car to car asking for money. She was sitting and as he walked by in the aisle, he turns to her and places his hand against his right nostril and blew, aka farmer blow or snot rocket. The end result was my wife covered in…

I was 12, around 1982, and a neighbor took me and a group of kids to the Children’s Museum. After a fun day, we were taking the Metro home. As we waited for the train, a man walked over and stood next to us at the platform and proceeded to masturbate with a penis that looked like an elephant’s trunk.

I was on the Green Line in Boston in 90s, when some smelly old dude with broken glasses waved hello, ignored him like all the other passengers. As I go back to reading, the guy tried to reach over and give me an open mouth kiss.