Patrick has been fired for not referencing the extensive real-world history of ballistas being used to kill flame-breathing magical lizards the size of 747s.

I was.pissed they shot that skull. Yeah let’s just fuck up one of the greatest things in history.

I miss the loss by loss articles. How else will I know when they lose their 91st game? Certainly not by watching Cardinals baseball.

he could face the scummiest, most vile opponent, who cheats to win in the most obvious ways and with outside interference, and the people will still refuse to support the Progressive Liberal.

“I’m not from here! I have my own customs!”

Is that you, Progressive Liberal?

I find it incredibly unnerving that hundreds of church leaders and sports coaches looked at Cosby in his current situation and said “I want that guy to come talk to my kids.”

I have a million of these...

The time that Cynthia Izaguirre confused being blind with being gay:

“Fuck you, I’m Millwall.”

I was not expecting hobbes’ dick. well played.

I appreciated her steadfast refusal to learn or care about any sport the entire time she wrote for Deadspin. Will miss her unique voice.

Poor Sultan McDoom - any other year, and he’d have been winner for certain. He’s like the 1990s Utah Jazz - a great team that would have been a dynasty in any other decade that didn’t include Jordan’s Bulls.

So [Watercraft] [Watercraft] was too on-the-nose for you, but [Protein] [Protein] wasn’t? Fuck you.

Yes, but that second one is actually also Betsy DeVos.

Sean Spicer: “This reporting is ridiculous bias, they were clearly chanting ‘Booetsy’.”

I’d like to agree with you that she got what she deserves, but she appears to have made it out of the building as a billionaire with the power to ruin a generation of schoolchildren.

It really is the little things.

This makes me all warm and tingly.