GOD, what an asshole. I bet the only reason they named their band that was because they know how much they suck, and knew that they wouldn’t be talked about at all otherwise.

That was my first thought too, but he seemed like the kind of guy that didn’t need a lot time to make peace with anyone or anything. I’m pretty sure he was ready to meet his maker any day. Speaking as a nurse who has seen a lot of suffering; I would want to go quickly after being diagnosed with terminal cancer. I’m…

The name of my new band is Necrotic Penis. Our debut was supposed to be a 12” but we only had money for a 7”.

I’m very educated at a very crazy level

Geez, mr. “very” educated drug loser. Just f*ing go away, or, better, stay in dam Portland.

I still don’t know how you people walk around with those damn things.

“GOT TIP OF PENIS CAUGHT IN A HARD SUNGLASS CASE”

PLACED A BOTTLE OPENER ON PENIS THINKING IT WOULD FEEL GOOD BEEN THERE FOR A WEEK AND NOW IT IS NECROTIC

that is how a chair becomes a stool.

I first read that as “HAS 2 GOLF BALLS UP RECTUM AND WANTS TO HAVE 1 REMOVED” and was both puzzled and amused.

“ENTERTAINING GUESTS BY INSERTING THE WOODEN LEG OF A CHAIR INTO HIS RECTUM”

I always thought it was hilarious that nobody ever pointed out to Qui-Gon, as he was going on about how Anakin was to bring “balance” to the Force, that it didn’t necessarily mean it would be in favor of the Light. In fact, in a time of relative peace and democracy with an obviously strong Light side, “balance” would…

Star Wars Episode VII: We Need to Talk About Kylo

I had a Fury Road themed birthday party. Sprayed my mouth with silver cupcake paint, screamed ‘Witness me’ and cut my ice cream cake with a katana. It was THE BEST. :D

Can’t we all agree that competence with a lightsaber includes:

Finn is Obi Wan’s frozen sperm.

Rule 1 of Star Wars: Obi Wan lies.

The correct word for full of pus is purulent. /end wordnerd