The Broncos better hope that their defense stays as healthy as it did last year because to expect the same performance out of that group is a big ask and if they start to get hurt that subpar QB play will really hurt.

Ever since they were peers in elementary school, Weeden has been waiting for an opportunity to get the upper hand on Jones.

Roasting is less than ideal. Braising is the preferred method of cooking tough gristled cuts of meat from old animals.

You’d think “All I Want For Christmas Is My Two Front Teeth” would be the go-to holiday hockey fight song, but here we are. God bleth uth, everyone.

It seems to be going around. I can star if I go to people’s history, but not from articles or my feed. Gotta be the update. It’ll pass.

It takes us a while because we only use two fingers and we spend a lot of time looking for the “ah” key.

Live look at ZODIAC MOTHERFUCKER:

Belichick and Popovich get compared for a lot of obvious reasons, but Pop actually seems like a really awesome guy who just hates the stupid shit his job requires which isn’t really any different than the rest of us.

“Things We Actually Like”

What a shock: the Greek guy was planning to recklessly spend money.

Then Saban issued a challenge to the reporters assembled: “Come closer to the dais here. Really pack it in. Then peer down into my throat. What you’ll see staring back at you is the jet black emptiness waiting for all of us once my acolytes summon another Championship bauble to the temple. With just one more crystal…

Its a code for only Peter Gammons to interprate

This was sort of the best they could make of their own fuckup. It was potentially a TD-ruining whistle, so they decided to give them the catch and the dead ball foul on top of it.

The only thing Christie fantasizes about is milkshakes

If there’s one thing Irsay can handle, it’s a bunch of downers.

Why is there a long block quote from Abe Simpson in this story about Jerry Jones?

Before anyone breaks out the old “if only they had guns” trope, let me remind you: Texas is a stupidly shaped cesspool that should be punted into the sun.