When I first started working retail, I absolutely was the type of person to chase someone. It’s not until I was thinking about it fairly recently that I realized that someone could’ve turned around and shot and killed me all because I wanted to recover a few Friends DVD box sets. Ross and Rachel are not worth that,…

I had to hold the fuel nozzle foreskin up with two fingers to get any dino-juice to come out.

how concerned you are really depends upon where you parked your car

Manassas is a special place. The town of Dumfried is also a special place, and is close to Manassas.

Yea, except a lot of people, me included, are far more productive with something on in the background that isn’t the 100 random conversations that can’t be tuned out in some idiotville open-office floor plan.

I fear this may end up being a better plot than the one in the actual movie.

sounds more like an Iron Eagle sequel than Top Gun.

mandatory picture:

I am thankful that Officer Gaston was well-trained, highly disciplined, and level headed. I think most of us in this situation would not been able to keep their composure and someone would have ended up dead. I wish all officers had his professionalism. Think about how many situation would have been de-escalated…

I ... I mean what the actual fuck?! 

I know this is an unpopular opinion here in the Kinjaverse, but... Just act like a professional, and treat them as you would any other customer.

Don’t open things at the store. Buy some mini chocolate chips in the baking aisle if you aren’t getting enough chips in your ice cream.

I really wish people who do shit like this would participate in the “jump in front of a speeding semi” challenge...

PLOT TWIST: The manager’s from the future and he knew the customer would one day save the world as the only person alive able to bond with, and unlock the powers of, an ancient dragon currently slumbering off the coast of North Carolina. The cashier was an evil assassin sent from the future to kill the customer, but…

Imagine figuring all this out with brainpower, reams of scratch paper, and slide rules.

No, instability at higher roll rates because the “axis of gravity” of the airplane doesn’t line up along the axis of travel.

I was going to say...probably the only time an AIM-7 actually got a kill.

Negative Goatrider, the pattern is full.

As much as we loved Tomcats when they were airborne and protecting us, I still chuckle at the thought of sitting in my carrier group admiral’s daily brief and have CAGMO go on and on and on about how many Tomcats were broken and the new and exotic ways in which they were breaking.

Obligatory. No buzzing the tower.