Do the fan bases for those teams blow themselves in public like this?

Deadspin doesn’t mock the Kings, Lakers, and Nets?

Jesus! Is there anything that Donald Trump won’t leak?

It’s probably LaVar Ball you idiot

I hope the Celtics trade him to Toronto.

You know Larry David?

Haha I have no idea, but I know he lied about my dad being in the hospital a few times to his employer so maybe he had to kill him off at some point.

Yep, we old dudes remember Gus Johnson, Archie Clark, Phil Chenier, even Jack Marin!

Of course, my immediate thought is just: Did he run out of other relatives to pretend that they passed away? Like, was he at 3 or 4 dead uncles before he decided he had to go whole hog with a dead father?

A guy who worked for me a few years ago lied to me about his ill grandfather dying. After he used his bereavement time, he had to come to me a few weeks later and fess up because he didn’t have any more bereavement, sick or vacation time to use for the wake/funeral after the guy actually died.

Not only can you join them, you’ve just been named the starting pitcher for Friday.

Counterpoint to Team Names: MLB has the dumbest team names. Look at this shit: Reds, Red Sox, White Sox, Brewers, Padres, Athletics. ATHLETICS! HOW THE FUCK DO YOU NAME A TEAM “THE ATHLETICS”? Give me a fucking break! And the teams named after the color of their socks? Are you shitting me? Fuck, man, I wear white…

Oddly enough, I did not.

Did you then sign the card?

The Washington Wizards have the lamest name in sports, correct?

Yes. Let us go get some ‘za and watch the ‘zards! And then we can remove ourselves from the gene pool (though at this point that is likely to be redundant) by removing our ‘nads!

What mean we, white man? YOU go stand over there by yourself. Well, I guess you’ll have Zach Lowe and his “Pellies” nonsense for company.

Um, if it had nothing to do with the city, then why is the T-Rex short for Torontosauras Rex, idiot.

Let’s all agree to pretend that you never even suggested this terrible, terrible thing.

Once i found a card in my brother’s truck that was signed by all his coworkers expressing condolences on the death of his father. Our dad was very much alive at the time. Yes, my brother is that guy.