I don't know why more people aren't terrified of raccoons. They're big, they'll eat anything, and they have HANDS. Oh, and they carry a parasite deadly to humans. Fun creatures!

I'm really really not looking forward to their divorce.

Is there someone who can do one of these product diaries who has oily skin? Maybe I missed one, but I think all of the women who have done one of these has normal to dry skin. I have insanely oily skin. I use like 5 oil absorbing sheets during work hours alone. I guess I'd just like to see a fellow grease-face on…

Inserting my cat's name into songs that I'm singing along to. "All The Scouty ladies! All the Scouty ladies!" "My Scoutaconda don't want none unless you got buns, hun!" "Last Scout. Last Scout. For Scooooout." And since Kate Bush was mentioned, "Running up that Scout! Running up that Scooooout. With no Scoutleemmms"

This could mean taking your pants off to eat a beautifully arranged cheese plate,

Oh they were the worst, those year 7 b.c. kids. Always tearing through town on their donkey carts blasting that damned loud Lyre music.

I was just talking about discipline with our pediatrician.

Fill them with existential dread that their lives are meaningless when they misbehave?

I just want to be sure I'm following this.

even with painted smiles, they still don't look happy

I think you mean "it could be BETTER."

I was 100% this couple except no one would date me so actually I was just sad, lonely Goth kanye.

I'm personally a fan of the phrase "Fuck [him] with a rusty dildo"

When my husband's first wife was diagnosed with advanced cancer, he was pulled aside and counseled about when would be best to divorce her. Not "are you planning on it," but "how can we provide support for the inevitable split."

While the study is drawn from data that doesn't specify whether it was the husband or wife who initiated the divorce in these cases, Karraker suggests that divorces coinciding with a wife's illness could actually be a matter of the ill wife wanting to cut the cord due to dissatisfaction with her husband's ability (or…

When I was suddenly given a cancer diagnosis, we were stunned. But, I later found out from my mother that he called and told her that she didn't need to worry. He was not ever leaving me and that he would take care of her only child no matter what.

I would just like to know where this guy is so I can marry him next. I'm not above marrying for money. I have student loan debt, man.

Look up Lorna Wendt. Billionaires don't become billionaires by going home and doing laundry and frantically whipping up dinner for 50 of their coolest mogul friends. They have wives for this, who also soothe their fevered brows late at night, raise their children, put well-placed words in the right ears, consult,…

Well, for people who just can't handle the stress of playing horror games themselves (me), its a fun option. Or if you've already played it, you're experiencing the surprises again vicariously. Plus it's just fun to watch people get scared in the dark. Remember MTV's Fear? Same concept but through a computer screen.…

At least the pricing and random releases are consistent.