And this can be so fucking insidious. When this occurred when I wasn’t getting any kind of treatment yet my thought process was like “Oh, I can’t be depressed! I feel relatively normal today, well gee, I should just try to be positive everyday!” Then my brain was like lolnofucku.

You know what, this isn’t creepy at all. Some of the best support and help and guidance I’ve gotten has been through “internet friends”, some of them I don’t even know their real names, they’re half way around the world, but we all get each other’s issues and we can talk about them safely and with someone who won’t…

And I was happy on those days, the burden was a little lighter...but it doesn’t mean depression is over.

It’s really, really good that all of that worked for you. But not everyone is the same. Not everyone has that dimmer switch work for them (including me).

Having suffered with it for nearly fifteen years I can tell you that I would never ever wish Depression on even my worst enemy. Not only because of the inexplicable feeling of it, (which is not “being down” because its raining too much or “I’m sad that Joe broke up with me” but something entirely different and vast)…

Honestly, it is PERFECTLY FINE for you to say, “I’m not up for this, I don’t need or want it in my life.” But the attitudes you are putting forth are generally considered pretty harmful to a person who is experiencing depression. Depression doesn’t have an “off” button. It’s not “looking on the bright side.” It’s not…

....Stahp.

This comment bugs me. Mainly because it’s exactly the kind of mentality that inhibits me from being open with my partner or anyone else about my depression. Your comment is a confirmation of my fears and anxieties, about how much I burden him, suck all the energy from his life, and how he must struggle daily just to…

Do not stay in a marriage with a clinically depressed partner. A marriage only taxes the depressed partner more, and the supportive one can never gain anything from it.

seriously, this comment is like a glaring ‘HOW NOT TO’ warning post.

Do not stay in a marriage with a clinically depressed partner.

You seem to have a lot of resentment about this issue, you should probably work that out. Your post sounds very much like the “bootstraps” thinking a lot of conservatives like to champion. I also recognize that I don’t have the patience for being in a relationship with someone who is depressed either, but this stuff…

depression is something someone can only fix themselves

Holy shit. Everything you just described is the ANTI-THESIS of what someone should be doing to help those in need. Depression is literally a chemical imbalance, what you just wrote is the equivalent of yelling at water to turn into wine, “JUST DO IT, hurry up and turn into wine, what are you happy being water?”.

Things…

I’ve had severe depression my whole life but I’ve never had the money to get actual diagnosis/treatment/therapy. I’ve just had to struggle through it. Couple that with never getting any compassion/empathy from loved ones, only anger and frustration. It’s been a rough fucking life. And people wonder why I’m a bitch all…

Honestly, that advice isn’t even really limited to depression, either. What I would add, though, is that you can’t expect every emotional response to be rational or to even have a reason. Sure, sometimes you need to listen and let them talk through their problems, but sometimes there isn’t a problem to talk through.…

I think you might have stopped reading halfway through, because we devoted an entire section to taking care of your own needs and how important it is that you speak up about your feelings. No one ever said it’s your fault for choosing to be hurt:

This falls under giving your partner space, but it is important enough to reiterate. You need to listen, and not always respond. Sometimes your partner might need to vent, or just talk through their feelings, and a lot of times that does not require your input.

Learn when it’s better to be passive. Sometimes just…

Thank you for the article. I have been diagnosed with depression and its been hard for me to explain to my spouse exactly what we will be dealing with together and individually. Even if everything in the piece does not apply it still gives us a place to start.

My finance has already read Go Set a Watchman because he does book reviews for our local media (technically newspaper but they are mostly web based now...let’s be real)