**referring to Jesus Molina, the gardener who is an illegal immigrant that Obama personally snuck over the border in his Iranian-fueled drone

I like the subtlety. Because maybe the coroner just has a quick question about something unrelated to asphyxiation via beer bong.

I see you jockin' me

Semicolon = broken ass

I would pay this guy to read things aloud to me.

Replaced by 50% hair metal, 50% Run DMC

Apparently we are

When will then be now?

Rich Eisen's barber also misses him.

Shut the fuck up, quit pretending it's goddamn Wheel of Fortune, and let Rich do his thing.

What about Breaking Bad?…..
(checks calendar)

Most TV aimed at preschoolers is irritating to non-preschoolers, but it's far better than, say Kai-Lan or Dora.

I need to stop chopping onions while I read this stuff.

Damn. This one really got to me. We watched so much late 80s/early 90s SNL as kids, and Jan was funny in just about everything. RIP.

I know it's become a cliched quote from a Robin Williams role, but it applies here. It's not your fault. One day at a time. You can do this.

Thank you.

When will I be famous enough to write an article about how much I hate "Bad to the Bone"?

Homer's ongoing disdain for Milhouse and admiration for Nelson.