I cannot believe how many people I haven’t killed. I should be a trillionaire by now.

Oh for sure. As a hit person, I would consider offering each victim the opportunity to meet or exceed payment to turn the tables on the initial client.

If hitpeople were true capitalists they would ask every person they were hired to kill for more $$$ NOT to kill them. I mean that just makes good business sense.

I just starred both of yours. NOW KISS.

It’s chilling when you think that but for a strange streak of chivalry...

This is the best ‘knock, knock motherfucker’ ever.

DAAAAAAAAAAAMN, Gina!!! +1,000,000 points for women today!

I feel like that because of him hanging out with Rebel Wilson and both clearly getting hammered at sports functions. And was it him that had the condom casually fall out of his pocket while doing the red carpet at some kiddie award show?

I hate myself for the feelings I have for ZE. It’s not exactly shame, but it’s akin to shame.

Thank you for getting the comments back on track! I wanted to read about reactions to the subject if the article and not about side effects of IUDs.

I’m a fairly straight guy, but whenever I see Zac Efron, I always have to mumble, “this guy, this guy keeps on getting better looking. I should probably stop drinking so many beers.”

I’m still convinced he has hidden depth. I’m the girl at the party telling everyone ‘but actually Zac Efron was really good in liberal arts and neighbors’.

To paraphrase XKCD, Dax Shepard doesn’t love math. He just likes looking at its ass when it walks by.

And ‘abstain while trying’ seems much more reasonable when it’s the first few months.

come at me bro

...He named her Harley Quinn.

My first baby was a surprise. And two weeks before I found out I had taken some acid on my birthday. I don’t recommend it. But she was fine. You apparently have a window between fertilization and full system sharing. I did have a judgmental midwife at the start who wanted to lecture me about drugs because my once a…

All women of childbearing age should lock themselves in padded boxed and eat nothing but nutritionally controlled gruel.