Well, whether it vanilla sex and he ignored the “no, stop" or BDSM sex and he ignored the safe word, it's the same deal: rape. And yes, not good if it's true.

No, it wouldn’t. My feelings on his looks are irrelevant.

That’s not how it works.

I find him so unattractive. I don’t like “boyish” in adult men. His jaw has no definition and his features are weak. I also have peculiar taste in finding blue eyes creepy and thinking that men look weird with a full head of hair. He might have a big dick but from the neck up it’s a no from me.

You answered your own question. They probably had the kind of sex that requires a safe word.

Sigh. Lululemon. It’s all I’ve ever tried, and since it looks and feels good and I’ve worn some items a few times a week for over a decade without it looking worn out yet, I’ve stuck with it. Please don't dismiss me!

I hear you. I’ve got stumpy, cellulitey legs and a massive ass but a flat stomach and a nice waist/hip thing going on. We can’t win ‘em all (past our teens and without surgery, that is). Work those gorgeous legs!

I've seen Olympic athletes up close while they were competing (i.e. in top shape and practically naked) and they have cellulite. I don't know what made me happier: seeing that, or watching them compete. It's a tremendous relief.

Now that I'm older and wiser and just shut this kind of thing down and laugh about it, I feel kind of sorry for these people.

I find it worse than straight forward pressure because it’s so manipulative.

He started in on it within minutes of us meeting. Lunged across the table before the drinks even arrived, and tried to kiss me. Then tried to convince me that a truly free woman would have sex right then and there and that I was being a slave and letting the patriarchy control my desires by not doing it.

I noticed it during my last foray into dating. I went on several dates and I noticed that they were all using progressivism and feminism as a tactic to bully me into sex. Like instead of regular old pressure to have sex, they were manipulating feminism to pressure me into it. It felt backwards and really messed up.

A guy once sent me a text essay explaining to me that by not having sex with him on our first date (which lasted forty five minutes) I was allowing myself to be a victim of the patriarchy and that a feminist would have fucked him.

You can’t consume porn while judging porn stars. Much like you can’t slip a bill in a stripper’s g-string and judge her, or patronize a prostitute and judge her. These women provide the services that you demand.

Have you never watched porn? Or do you watch it, jacking off with one hand and pointing in judgment at the porn stars with the other?

Usually he says “I’m a feminist” about ten seconds before he lectures you about how you not wanting to fuck him right now is playing in to the patriarchy’s control of women’s bodies, and your not wanting to fuck right now means that YOU aren't really a feminist. It's very manipulative.

I think it’s really dependent on the relationship and the encounter. I had sex with my boyfriend this morning when I didn’t feel like it, but I definitely feel that I consented and don’t think there was anything remotely shady about it. Several years ago I was in a similar situation and my boyfriend at the time was…

It’s not pathetic. And it’s easy to convince yourself it’s not rape because it’s not violent or scary and you’ve wanted it with him lots of times before and maybe it’s not that bad in the end anyway, and it IS different from being assaulted by a stranger or near-stranger, but it does have a lasting effect on your self…

That’s a good question. I can’t answer it based on my personal experience since I’ve only had sex with men. But it has happened to a couple of my exes and they were completely messed up by it.

Rape usually doesn’t involve a man holding down and penetrating a woman who is kicking and screaming. It happens every time one half of a partnership isn’t into sex and the other pushes or coerces or whines until it happens. And that is very, very normal.