That young lady is a tearing beauty.

He’s half-Samoan and related to the family of Samoan wrestlers that includes The Rock.

RIGHT? We got Shane’o, we got Womens Championship, we’re getting brand split. 2016 has been awesome. Why not spoil us even more with a little Shield love? Roman, Seth and Dean are all avaaaillllable now...

I’m a straight guy (I think), but this dude makes me feel a little funny downstairs, if you know what I mean.

So you don’t want to talk about Cesaro’s technical prowess?

Definitely didn’t come to Jezebel expecting WWE talk. Is this normal? Because I can stop by more often.

I’d vote for President D if you catch my obvious drift

I think the one arm thing is a Samoan thing. At least in the case of Reigns, the Rock, the Usos...

Steely-eyed yet somehow devoid of gravitas or charisma? Eh, maybe.

Starred for Roman Reigns. He’s so bad on the mic, but he’s sooo prettttty.